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SOCIALISM: You have two goats. You keep one and give
the other to your neighbor and the government keeps any kids,
(no one goat herder can be richer than the next)..
COMMUNISM: You
have two goats. The Government takes your goats and shares the
milk with you and your neighbor but rations the wool at
exorbitant prices and then forces you to cut any clothing made
in half to share with the rest of the population.
DICTATORSHIP:
You have two goats and your neighbor has two cows. The ruler
decides since the goats aren't producing enough milk or wool and
“Baa” each time he passes, there is a goat conspiracy. He
orders all goats killed and creates new anti-goat laws. Since
you tend goats, you are also considered an enemy of the state.
One night you and your goats’ carcasses disappear never to be
seen again. The next day the dictator changes the law. A bull
charges him. Cows are now conspirators. That night your
neighbor disappears and his cows are shot. Since the
dictator has killed all of the milk sources he develops
osteoporosis and blames the doctors. Doctors are now
outlawed and considered conspirators...TOP
MONARCHY: The king owns a herd of goats. By
decree you are responsible for two goats. The king keeps
all the milk, wool and any kids your goats have and sells the
proceeds back to you at a steep mark-up. You then pay the
king a tax for the privilege of caring for his goats on his
lands and if you do a good job and don't cause trouble, he lets
you stay. If you cause trouble, fail to pay his taxes or
he is unsatisfied with your work, he takes his goats, locks you
in prison and throws your family off his land.
FASCISM: You
have two goats. You give the milk to the government. The
government turns around and sells it back to you at a 400%
mark-up, but only if you are the "right" kind of human being.
If you're the wrong kind, not only will you have to buy the milk
back at a 400% mark-up, you'll need to survive a walk through a
mine field, numerous checkpoints and escape the
refugee/concentration/internment camp
to claim it. TOP
CAPITALISM: You
have two goats. You sell one, leverage the other and use the
proceeds to invest in bulls.
PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two goats. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk, who
gets the wool, whether each becomes community property. As
you all have just one vote, they can vote to reallocate your
goats to another person without justification or reason simply
because your neighbors don't like your new hairstyle.
TOP
REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY:
You have two goats.
Together with your neighbors you elect one person to represent
the interests of the group. This representative proposes and
passes legislation that determines who gets the milk, who gets
the wool and how much you owe the government for the privilege
of owning goats. If you're lucky the person you all elected will
think the same as you and let you keep your goats without taxing
them to the point you can no longer afford to keep them.
AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give
you two goats if you vote a certain way. After the election the
president is impeached for speculating in goat futures. The
press dubs the scandal "Goatgate" and you are taxed for
capital goat-gains on each hypothetical goat you were promised
but never received. Since you can't pay on paper goat
gains, the IRS seizes your property and places a lean on all
future goats, thus recycling you through the state welfare
system where you finally receive your goat.
ANARCHY: You have two goats. Your neighbors conspire
to set you up. You are arrested by the secret police and
never seen again. Meanwhile your neighbors steal your
goats.
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