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6 Months thru Wedding Day |
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| May
December Relationships:
When she is older than he,
can the marriage work?
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| Dear Andy and Judy:
Frank has asked me to marry him. He started asking me
out about a year ago, and we did lots of stuff with
family and friends before dating. At first I only
thought of him as a fun friend but not partner material,
because ... and here's the weird part ... he's way
younger than I am. |
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A man
dating a 16 year younger woman doesn't raise
eyebrows. Why is it different when a woman
dates a much younger man? |
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He's only 33 and I'm 49! The age
difference doesn't bother him at all, he acknowledges it and
then shrugs it off. There's lots of sexual chemistry between
us; we love spending time together, most other aspects of our
relationship are great except for the age difference, which I
worry about but he doesn't.
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My worries are mainly that he'll tire of me
quickly as we both age, and that others will judge us and
think we're crazy. His response is that he feels confident he
wants to spend the rest of his life with me and he knows
himself well enough to know he won't change his mind. And if
we love each other who cares what others think. Some
background about me: I was married 25 years and have 4 grown
children. Frank has never married. He is a devoted uncle and
friend to young people but doesn't want children of his own,
so it doesn't bother him that I'm too old to bear him
children. If you're wondering why he has never married, he was
in one long-term relationship before where his partner wanted
children and he found he had a low sperm count, so that made
her decide not to marry him.
TOP
And about growing old together, I'm
in excellent health, slim, and work out regularly, so
I guess you could say I'm a very young 49. He is in
good shape but not as conscientious as I am about
nutrition and exercise. You might say that evens out
our ages in a way. And maybe as we get older, the age
difference will seem smaller and smaller. My
questions: |
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Susan
Sarandon and Tim Robbins are probably the most famous
May/December couple as she is 14 years older than
Robbins.
Men routinely marry women 10, 20 and even 30 years
younger then themselves. Can an older woman marry a
younger man? Do you think this is weird,
admirable or about time? Tell us what you
think...
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Is there research on the likelihood of success in a
marriage with this large an age difference? Am I overlooking
any significant potential problems that I should consider
before marrying him?
April (F) 49
Salt Lake City, UT
1 year together
See Andy's Advice to April....
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