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Not only are we talking about something so much more important
than the cars on a tire, but this particular acquaintance has
been kicking the same tires for over four years!! And
he’s trying to imply that he just hasn’t made up his mind
yet?!! What a crock of bologna! He is only fooling himself,
in his desperate attempt to justify his entirely selfish and
compulsive actions. Remember, though, that’s what addicts
do: they lie to justify their obsessive-compulsive behaviors!
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In revealing this fact my intention is
not to stand in judgment of, or condemn, those of my gender.
Men are not purposely malicious and evil. Most of them are
victims themselves, much like a drug addict in need of their
constant fix. But while feeling compassion and sympathy for
their plight, it is essential to recognize their situation for
what it is lest a woman become a victim herself of their
obsessive-compulsive needs.
I know many men very well who are very
open to me about the women they have sex with on a regular
basis, but present an entirely different face to the woman.
They have to. Because if the woman saw the side of the man
that he allows other men to see, she would recognize that she
is being used and his “source” for sex would dry up instantly.
The fact that servicing a man sexually
is a dead end street has been documented for decades. This
was borne out by a Columbia University study in the 1980’s
which showed that less than 1 out of 5 men ever married a
woman he had cohabited with. The statistics are even more
abysmal today, which is why the rate of babies born out of
wedlock is skyrocketing right under our noses!
One young man I am familiar with in his
late 30’s, right now, has been deeply involved with a lovely
woman for years, having sex with her as regularly as clock
work. He gets by well enough, relieving his conscience by
officially telling her that marriage is not on their agenda.
At the same time, though, he knows darn well it is only her
hope that he’s going to change his mind that keeps her
supplying him.
And what makes this all the more
maddening is my awareness that he has recently begun seeing a
woman on the side that he is VERY interested in who is a 35
year old VIRGIN! And she is very clear to him that the only
way that will change for her is when she’s married. Need I
even point out that sex cannot be what is keeping him coming
around in this case, except for the possibility that he
is toying in his mind with actually going ahead and marrying
her! So the one that has given and given of herself is on the
verge of getting the boot, while the one who has reserved
herself wins the man the other wanted!
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What a Man Really Wants
My purpose today is to tell you the
truth. What men really want are emotionally strong
women – women who love them, but who won’t submit to
extortion. A woman telegraphs weakness, though, when she
surrenders her body, her soul, and her integrity in the vain
hope of holding on to the man for just a little longer.
Contrary to popular perception, that is NOT a good love
tactic, nor is it effective in winning his heart and getting
him to the altar.
The truth is…and this is going to hit a
lot of men right between the eyes, but hey I’m feeling
reckless at this point…men often think that if a woman is
willing to believe his lies and allow herself to be used by
him, then she deserves just what she gets. So, being the
selfish sexual addict that he is, he’ll go ahead and use her,
but in most cases he won’t ever marry her, and in the few
cases he does he won’t be excited about it!
You see, girls, what a man says he
wants and what he really wants are often worlds apart. He
says he wants a woman who will submit to his carnal needs, but
what he really wants and needs is a woman strong enough to
motivate him emotionally and spiritually. And the only way to
do the latter is for the woman to be on higher moral ground
herself! She must not be fool enough to believe the man’s
lies, and she must be strong enough to resist his attempts to
reduce her to an object by using her.
There are three indispensable
components, fundamentals of what makes people fall in love:
FRIENDSHIP, RESPECT, and PASSION. The main problem with
allowing yourself to be used, or to be taken for granted, even
in the smallest way is that it destroys the second of these
three pillars and demolishes any chance for the man to fall in
love with you. NEXT PAGE
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