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OK, so maybe this article isn’t
for everybody. For some women, “putting out” just isn’t an
issue for them. Maybe it isn’t for you, either. But if you
are tired of the game and really want the promise of love
within a covenant, keep reading.
For some women now reading these words
putting out is a big issue. Secretly, they’ve wished
there was some way around it, but have ultimately surrendered
to what appears to be an unrelenting social custom of our
day. There is incredibly strong peer pressure out there
assuring you that “there is no other way”. There are a lot of
women out there who really would like to save the heavy
artillery for marriage, but they think it’s against the rules
so they play a pretending game and it tears them apart.
A whole slew of women find they don’t
really want to have to lay down their personal values
and integrity time after time before they’re married. But
what else can they do? These women would like to really
know…is it truly possible to catch a man and marry him,
in this day and age, without having to go to bed with
him first? Can a woman really still win the man she
wants, without having to compromise her integrity by ignoring
the voice inside her when it says, “I just don’t feel right
doing it this way!”
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The answer is a resounding, “Yes, more
than you can begin to imagine!” Not only can you
capture a man’s heart without having to sell your soul for the
privilege, but the confidence that emanates from you when you
determine to be true to yourself in this regard actually
empowers you in your ability to get him to commit!!
In fact, the truth is, your ability to
mesmerize the man you want is magnified when you hold out to
the very end in refusing to bestow marital privileges
until…well…marriage! You hold the winning hand, if you just
refuse to be bluffed out of it.
Why, then, do so many women seem to
believe that they don’t have any choice in the matter? Why do
so many think that, if they ever hope to get married, that
going to bed with the man first is inescapable?
The Great Lie and Why Men Deceive
Now, as a man, I can be tried for treason for what I am about
to say, but let the truth be told. There is a lie – a GREAT
LIE – that has been drummed up and perpetuated in our world
that if a woman doesn’t go to bed with a man she loves then
she will lose her chance to win his love in return. This is
absolutely false, but men have succeeded for the most part in
convincing women that it is true.
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It is a MYTH that if a woman doesn’t
break down and give a man sex before marriage that she won’t
be able to get him to fall in love with her, or to marry her.
This is a BLATANT FALSEHOOD.
This GREAT LIE is the result of a
silent conspiracy intended to suppress women’s independence
and keep them subject to men’s desires for immediate physical
gratification. It does not have as its object the
intention to secure for a woman a permanent and lasting
relationship. Still, she is allowed to think that this
improves her chances of winning a man’s heart in order to keep
her playing the game and servicing the man’s physical needs as
long as possible.
Let’s face facts. Men and women are
different in some fundamental ways regarding their primary
drives and motivations. Women yearn more for emotional
nurturance while men carry the burden of an obsessively
strong, persistent drive for sex. Someone has insightfully
pointed out that “a woman wants one man to satisfy her
every need, while a man wants every woman to satisfy his one
need.”
The natural man is a philanderer. His
animal nature is to behave like a beast and have sex as often
and with as many different women as he can. Until he conquers
this savage beast within, he remains a prisoner to animal
instincts – an addict to sex who will lie, lie, and lie again
to get his fix. Unless a woman understands and comes to grips
with this fact, she is destined to become victim to those
lies.
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Some men would accuse me of breaking
the “code” of my own gender by openly telling you this, but
I’m not here to uphold an immoral code I don’t believe in. I
believe that in order for men to be truly happy, they must
eventually enter a win/win relationship that includes
exchanging a committed marital vow in return for the sexual
affection bestowed. I believe in paying for what I get,
emotionally speaking. This is not only best for the woman, in
the long run it is best for the man as well.
Those men who “cheat” a woman of her
rightful due in this regard will learn in due course that they
have only been cheating themselves. When a man uses a woman
for sex, always pretending to leave the door open to marriage
(just enough to keep her hoping), it is never win/win. It is
actually win/lose. And if win/lose, then ultimately it will
be lose/lose – even for him.
Woman yearns mostly for love and
commitment. Man primarily desires sex. The fair tradeoff is:
sex in a loving and committed marriage. Women traditionally
have had a strong bargaining chip when coming to the
negotiating table. But somewhere over the last century, men
have succeeded in bluffing women out of their strong
position. Most women don’t know how powerful they really are,
if they just exercise their determination in this regard.
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Man has stood eyeball to eyeball to
woman…and she has blinked!! It was a bluff on his part – it’s
always been a bluff – and the woman has fallen for it. The
bluff is that if a woman doesn’t go to bed with a man if she
loves him then she will lose her chance to win his love in
return.
In actuality, men prefer strong women who can resist them and
say no. Men need strong women who can say no.
Admittedly this paradox is frustrating to a man, because he is
also fighting a sexual urge that is both constant and strong
all the time. But emotional and spiritual growth never was
easy, and a permissive woman denies him this opportunity to
progress. NEXT PAGE |
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