Parental Alienation Syndrome:
What it is. How it happens. What you can do about it.
with Parenting AND Legal Contributor Dr. Jayne MajorNothing stirs up passions more than the controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child. A controversy is an issue where evidence on both sides can make a compelling case. Child custody and divorce is never black and white. When people have their emotions aroused, issues quickly migrate to polar opposites. Fear overtakes reason. Incomplete facts become evidence. Court calendars become jammed with repeat visits to a judge to try to bring sanity to a situation that is likely never to be sane. Courthouses become your family’s second home.
What can you do when one parent is intractable and vitriolic? What can you do when the child becomes caught up in the fight and starts taking sides? To begin with you need to understand the dynamics of Parental Alienation Syndrome or PAS.
PAS abuse is manipulation by one parent used to turn the child against the other parent. Neglect or abuse by the parent being alienated (made out as the villain) does not exist. When emotional, physical or sexual abuse exists, the child’s anger is justified. Justified anger is not PAS.
Likewise PAS does not exist if the child enjoys a positive relationship with both parents despite the fact one parent is attempting to alienate the child from the other. The determining factor of PAS is the child’s part, his or her reaction and behavior to the situation.
Understanding gives you the ability to see the scope of the situation and what you are up against. Once you know what is causing the problem, you can begin to solve it. TOP
What is PAS?
Gardner's definition of PAS is:
- The Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a disorder that arises primarily in the context of child-custody disputes.
- Its primary manifestation is the child's campaign of denigration against a parent, a campaign that has no justification.
- It results from the combination of a programming (brainwashing) of a parent's indoctrinations and the child's own contributions to the vilification of the targeted parent.
Excerpted from: Gardner, R.A. (1998). The Parental Alienation Syndrome, Second Edition, Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics, Inc.
Translation: Gardner is saying is that in the course of the animosity that arises between divorcing spouses over the children, one parent can inadvertently or purposely begin conditioning the children against the other parent. At the same time the children, dealing with their own anger, hurt and insecurities amplify their own feelings and begin directing them at the targeted parent. This state of confusion creates the perfect atmosphere for manipulation.
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Additional Articles
CONTINUE
What is the child's part in PAS?
If You are the Alienated Parent
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