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Lately I have been getting very brave when it comes to our lovemaking, trying different things, which he really seems to enjoy. My question is do you think I am just doing this to make sure he does not stray, or is it because I am afraid he will find someone younger?
JD (F) 48
Orem, Utah
Married 3 Years
Dear JD
For most couples, when the wife is willing to be adventurous in bed,
trying new positions and techniques, the husband is typically quite
pleased. No problem there at all! But you seem uneasy for some
reason. Why don’t you ask YOURSELF what your motivations are? I
mean, are you doing things you’re really rather not do, but you do
them out of fear? Has he been hinting in some vague way that he’s
dissatisfied with your relationship? If so, deal with that
directly.
If you’re sexually adventurous because you want to please your
husband, and you’re having a fun time too, there’s nothing wrong
with that. Just so you know: there’s never any guarantee a partner
won’t stray, no matter how great your sex life is. And just so you
know this also: the age difference between you is not important if
both of you are happy together. Men don’t necessarily stray for
adventurous sex or for younger women. They stray because they CAN
(the opportunity comes their way and they aren’t clear enough about
wanting to stay faithful, so they just go for it). Or they stray
because they don’t feel loved or listened to or fulfilled in some
way, and they’re not motivated enough to keep working on their
primary relationship. So keep up the bedroom hijinks, but be sure
you also have really top-notch intimacy in other areas of your life
with your husband.
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