A heavy metal concert can be a romantic evening, just not for everyone
The old “know your customer” rule applies in romance as well. We can proselytize to you all year about what romantic norms are and the things you can and should do to be romantic and we could still be wrong. Why? Simply because our society is making more room for individuality and that means a heavy metal concert that may be romantic for one couple, may not be for someone else.
The typical romantic type would look for a quiet spot, usually by a body of water, to woo and court his or her partner. However, the age of piercing, tattoo’s and extreme sports has come upon us and it demands a revision of what we believe to be romantic. That doesn’t mean that as a man or a woman, you can be crass, arrogant, rude or obnoxious. Some things still stay the same. What it does mean is that you can pull our the chair for your partner, date or significant other while wearing gauges, septum rings, torn stockings while listening to screamo at 300 decibels and that would be romantic.
10 things that are still important, no matter how alternative you are
Romance does still demand a few elemental aspects which would include a number of things; 1) Focus on your partner - if you can’t talk to each other because of the loudness of the music, just dance, shout or nod at each other. There will be plenty of time to chat while your ears are ringing after the concert. This means show a real interest in what they have to say, listen, talk to them and look into their eyes.2) Share your passions - The old days of believing that opposites attract are long gone and while there may be instances when those who have little in common find happiness, the vast majority find lawyers helping them with divorce or friends counseling them with heartache. Music, fashion, food, professions and friends all form a special bond (as well as threaten to break that bond. Just watch the movie “Mean Girls” and you’ll know what I mean) whether you are a teenager or a young adult into your 30’s.
3) Consideration, respect and politesse - That doesn’t mean you have to be a doormat. What it means is that you show your partner, lover, boyfriend or girlfriend that they fall at least within your top three of things most dear to you. I am a firm believer that YOU should always be number one in your life, but that doesn’t mean you should treat other people poorly or without considering their needs, wants or feelings. Yes, it can be hard to remember their interests at times, but by doing so that is what builds the bond between the two of you.
4) Old fashioned etiquette - Boy, there is nothing more sexy and intriguing than a young man walking on the outside of a sidewalk with his lady, or putting his jacket over her shoulders when she is catching a chill. Conversely, brushing his hair with your fingers or fixing his collar are also two gestures that are more intimate and meaningful than you can know, (just don’t do it too often as some guys can be jerks about this, not recognizing it for the caring, decent act that it is. Stupid guys need to be dumped!). Anyone who says these actions are useless and insulting need not be spoken to as they are likely putrid louts who will be lonely, unhappy boors for the rest of their lives. You deserve far better.
5) Communication - Duh! This one is a no-brainer, yet so many people find themselves unhappy and alone because all they could and would do is focus on themselves, with little concern about their partner. If you feel a certain way, express it. If your partner makes fun of you, denigrates your concern or otherwise brushes you off, give him or her another chance to listen and if that doesn’t get through, move-on because if they don’t pay attention to you now, they won’t when you are married, have children or are on the road with their band.
6) Lying, cheating and stealing - These are basics when it comes to romance. Hey, if you think your man or woman are romantic because they gave you some jewelry they jacked off of an old couple, I can’t help you. Those old folks deserve some, if not more moments of romance than you do, but the signs are just pointing to complete disregard for people and you also form part of “people”. So maybe you like the badass, or ho, but 99% of the time, you’ll be tossed or traded just as easily as that jewelry was snatched and with as little regard. Sorry, no room for that.
7) Addiction and support - Hey, we all have our flaws, yes, everyone. Those who suffer from addictions of most kinds should be given a chance to repair their physical and emotional lives as well as their relationships, but you need to stop at the first signs of their addictions damaging you. It happens all too often and we see the disastrous results all over the internet, television and in our own lives. If the person you love is hurting you in any way by their addiction, cut bate and let them heal. Chances are you are part of the addiction cycle and you’ll have to find your soul-mate out of the other 7 billion or so humans on this planet!
8) Do you want the same things? - I hear it all the time. One person wanted a family complete with baby vampires and tattoos, while the other wanted to go on the road and tour… endlessly. Well folks, you can’t do both. So before you get caught up in all the cool stuff you can do together and no, hanging out in the mall smoking isn’t one of those things, make sure you both get it together. Otherwise, sure, stay friends, but find someone who wants the same things as you, no matter what they are.
9) Money - Yup, you may work, he may not or vice versa. One may spend money on everything and anything while the other might understand that you do need to pay the rent. If One or the others money skills aren’t up to snuff, work on it, or scram. The arguments will be just around the corner and there is nothing romantic about paying for meals, concerts, clothes and everything else, all the time. It’s cool, we’re in a post modern society, but both people have to share the responsibility whether you believe in the money culture or not. It is the necessary evil.
10) Sarcastic, obnoxious and being late (SOB)- I equate this with a couple of other character qualities, but find it is all pervasive in our celebrity worship culture with our idols spewing insults and vitriol like candy. ‘Course, you would think anyone who has a partner, spouse or lover that behaves this way would get it, but unfortunately so many people don’t and suffer the consequences which could be simply being embarrassed at a concert or friends house, to being a victim of physical abuse or worse. Look this kind of behavior is always an indication of how that person feels about themselves and they let it out on others, even if you are supposed to be the love of their life. If they don’t cut it out, then move on. You must have more respect, self-esteem and consideration for yourself, especially if it is supposed to be a romantic moment and you find yourself crying.
