"Wherever you go, there you are"
We've heard the expression before. "Wherever you go, there you are" and for so many people, the same holds true for their personal and intimate lives. A recent report that Russell Brand, erstwhile greasy comedian and ex-husband of lovely pop star Katy Perry, is now dating, not long after his quick divorce, another celebrity that has also been on the dating wheel of torment.
Why is it that these people exemplify what and how not to date or fall in love and yet the masses still consume everything they throw at us? What they seem to be good at is not planning, throwing caution to the wind and just winging it with their relationships, while not taking care of their own personal issues first. Therein lies the truth behind why characters like Mr. Brand and so many others just can't seem to find matrimonial happiness, not to mention relationship success.
Damaged personalities in need of repair before any committed relationship
Whether their personalities are so damaged, or their work and career lives are so difficult to manage (what with the real issues of fame and fortune such as paparazzi getting in the way), dating is just fodder for the tabloids and we should all stand-up and take notice. While I don't know Mr. Brand personally, I can see from the pressures of stardom and his recent quick divorce that he is likely not complete in his own personal development and therefore, is unlikely to be able to meet the minimal needs of anyone that is in a relationship with him. Like any life event, getting into a committed relationship requires adult qualities like the ability to share tasks, plan, be on time, communicate and other basic requirements. If these things are too difficult for you, then don't bother suggesting to anyone that you are ready to be in a relationship. Be honest with yourself and others and just lay it out. You aren't ready and are happy to go out, fool around, etc... but as for a committed relationship, well that's not for you. You'll both be happier in the end, or not.
Of course, most people aren't secure enough in their own choices, lacking self-esteem and floating around with loose morals to the point that consequences of rash and irresponsible activities start to pile up. Now, I'm as much for partying as the next person as we all have to just relax and let go sometimes, but if you are in your thirties and still acting this way, then you need to revisit your life-plan. Sure, as adults it would be ideal to maintain as much creativity, imagination and spontaneity as possible. That is what, after-all forms part of our personality, usually the best parts. Few of us want to be identified as Stepford wives or Leave it to Beaver type families, but having another person in your life does require some of those abilities to process the needs, wants and necessary attention of the other person. Prancing around, cavorting with multiple people and generally being a buffoon are not per-requisites for any boyfriend or girlfriend and yet, there are so many cases of "Branding" around, that it is shocking more people aren't emotionally scarred from experiences with these damaged personalities.
A constant flood of tabloid fodder
Frankly, many people could say "good for him/her" for going out with that jerk! Since it is only a matter of time before someone else will get dumped, cheated on, insulted, injured (a la Rihanna and Chris Brown) or worse and yes, death and serious injury are worse. Instead of identifying these serial daters as toxic material, the flies still flock to the fly-paper as they did to similar examples that are now near walker age such as the notorious rocker bad boys from the Rolling Stones (Mick Jagger et al) and so many others from the music, film and entertainment industry. It isn't just this generation either as I've noted in many other postings and our modern history is replete with examples of those that wield money and power being serial daters and suffering the consequences of their actions almost always destroying lives in the process.
So rather than watch with bemusement, we should all relish in the prospect that these examples give us an ideal template for how not to date, when not to date and who not to date. We see how they act, what they do, what they say and that should be enough for all of us to draw-up a list of character do not date items. "Brandism" being only one funnel for the inane and ludicrous considering his escapades and certainly appearance. Why any self-respecting woman or girls would want to go out with that, is beyond me, but I do get the appeal of fame and fortune and for those gold-digger types, sure, sell your souls. However for the rest of those people who have a modicum of self-respect, just use these reports as confirmation that you will never be duped into dating anyone of this ilk. That you will never suffer the insults and demeaning comments that "Brandism" surely heaps on his unfortunate hangers-on. DO your homework on your date. Your time is too precious and your mind and body too unique and important than to waste even a moment on cads like this.