Most men aren't well versed at how to speak to a lady
We all would like to have a smooth talking, sexy man by our side, but often it turns out to be some schmo that is more of an egomaniac than a white knight. That isn't to say all men put their foot in their mouths all the time, but certainly often enough.
Is this a genetic predisposition to being corny, goofy or just outright obnoxious? Nobody knows, but we do understand that the more attracted the man is to the woman, the less the man's brain functions properly. There are a minority of male stalkers and sharks like Steve Santagati who is a consummate womanizer and teacher of ways to bed any woman. Why a man would want to focus strictly on that is beyond most women, but to the male block-heads out there, OK, we get the conquest thing. Even women who support and promote this kind of predatory romance by men like former Penthouse playmate Victoria Zdrok (and her book entitled "Dr. Z on Scoring: How to Pick Up, Seduce and Hook Up with Hot Women) make every effort to educate men on what to say, rarely ending well for the targeted woman. These tactics are indeed just that. Tactics, which fall hallow and very shallow. The women that fall for these age-old lines and moves are usually inebriated, are afflicted with severely low self-esteem or are bent on destruction. Perhaps the man is attractive, shows some bling and may indeed be well spoken, but the ultimate prize, if you will, should be guarded jealously as we would our bank accounts (and even those are often given up way too easily to many a persons surprise). Sp please ladies, pay attention and don't be so naive, as the sharks, are NEVER looking for a relationship (yes I used an absolute)!
Most men try to muddle through relationships without a clue to romance
Most men try to muddle their way through without thinking about how they sound or what they are saying. While most are indeed honest and are simply looking for what most of us are searching for, companionship, intimacy, someone to love and to show love back, the vast majority of men just don't get women. Why should we want them too after-all? Give away all of our secrets? Make it easier for them to infringe on our private talks, intimate ideas and manipulate us as experts in female behavior as the sharks do at least on the surface? Absolutely not. Yet, we want men to be able to do all of these things so that the relationship will go more smoothly. The communication will be more fluid and go in both directions. That is the ideal, but we don't have the time or patience to teach them all about these secrets.
Our busy lives interfere with the more esoteric aspects in our lives. Yet these parts, intimacy, love andExperts and lay people alike often pooh-pooh those that point-out the physiological differences between men and women, suggesting they use it as an excuse in their arguments. Whether or not some will use it as a crutch to their theory, the fact is that the male brain is wired differently than a womans. Just watch this hilarious video of Marc Gungor discussing a man's brain versus a woman's brain. For these reasons, a man just can't seem to get out of his way when trying to be romantic. The differences are both real and stark.
The way either gender, with exceptions of course (due to specific levels of male or female hormones in some people) deals with romance (or not) is generally dominated by their hormone cocktail sloshing around in their brain. A man will typically not place as much importance on, say... his wife's birthday as opposed to an annual golf escape. That isn't because he doesn't love his wife, in most cases. Rather, it is because his brain's pleasure and reward centers aren't set-up to put that birthday above the weekend escapades with his friends. Some men need more time with their buddies than others. We as women have to determine that our by ourselves. We should be able to understand the level of man-child our partner truly is. That isn't to say that we can't all have some aspect of a strait-gay man in our lives, but we need to be attuned to our partner. Much like we wish they would be. They typically can be expected to;
1) Wait until the last minute to buy us a gift, think Valentine's Day, anniversary or other event
2) Say inappropriate things with sexual connotations as if they were hanging with their buddies
3) Miss an opportunity to get us something meaningful and opt for flowers, lingerie or similar
4) Show little emotion while out as well as in
5) Let their physical selves go. No wonder they have no energy in bed or when out on a date-night
6) Focus more on our friends and families ego needs than ours. That is misplaced flattery
7) Not understand that we like to spar and just shut-off from a discussion (we aren't arguing or whining)
8) Forget to focus on being slow and sexy instead of caveman fast and without attention to our places
9) Ignore the things we do to make ourselves feel good as well as them take note; eyelashes, nails, etc...
10) Give us complements that aren't forced out of them or are sincere on new clothes & achievements
Our nerves are our biggest betrayers, for men and for women
Women tend to get nervous and shy when a man offers complements and pays attention to what the woman is saying. Despite wanting and enjoying these positive comments, women are major culprits in forcing ultimate verbal failure out of men. In a way, it is our own feline tendency to extract as much revenge or show our power over men, so when we see them stumble, we just watch it without guiding them gently away from chewing on their feet as they look and sound ever so silly.
Women often betray themselves when this kind of interplay takes place, but when it does, it is such a great feeling that we can't stop it. When we become nervous and feel like a man is a match and beyond if we are already in the relationship, the giggling starts, comments like "you smell so good" start flowing out of our mouths and our guarded responses melt away. The same can be said for men, but perhaps it is more pronounced.
Men tend to say stupid things about the clothes we are wearing, or our make-up or some other item that we, as women take very seriously, but men don't understand. Therein lies a major issue between the sexes where men don't know what is off limits to talk about, while women are much more methodical and calculated about what they talk about. No matter how goofy they may be.
I often like to say to the suave and debonair man that it sounds as if he has written the book on things to say to a women just to disarm them as a would be suitor. How to please a woman, how to eat a cupcake, how to kiss your woman when she wants a kiss. How to know just what to say when she wanted to hear that special little diddy, like how you are "the only one", or "his best friend". These are comments that only a special few men understand. The rest, are filled with comments like tired and worn-out pick-up lines recycled as attempts at being sophisticated and elegant. Just think of a drunk guy at a Hooters restaurant trying to act calm and cool while using the "somebody better call God, 'cuz he's missing an angel" comment.
Just like you shouldn't say "that you think you can fall in love with him" and that "he should always keep making an effort to see you and be with you", a man makes plenty of mistakes when he opens his mouth as well. It seems that a man's ability to be romantic is also in-line with the comfort level he has with you as a person. There are so many aspects to a relationship that affects this level of comfort and you as the lady, should do all you can to direct it if romance is important in your life, which it must be, (for you 10-15% Alpha ladies out there, we're not talking to you. You can't be helped. Just leave the mans bones and empty wallets by the roadside. We'll clean it up!).
Some may call it badgering. Others may say we are whiny or have insatiable appetites for romance, but we know, as women, that it is an essential part of our persona. We all have different likes and dislikes. Some like romance on a beach, others like a restaurant and dessert date. Some are too demanding, others, not so much, with a single rose that carries our needs for months on end. Yet, we as women understand that a man can be romantic, we just have to guide him because his hormones betray his true romantic self that isn't simply based on winning or scoring. So please ladies, give the man a long leash, but guide him through the effort and you'll find your relationship becoming more healthy or alternatively, not satisfactory and that is a good thing because you can then discuss the things that you need to see change, or change the guy completely, because we all have the right to have romance in our lives, excuses aside!