Don't be so self-absorbed to break-up with your ex twice
Breaking-up with a girlfriend or a spouse or with anyone that you have been involved with is never an easy thing, unless you are a narcissist and an insensitive jerk. Too harsh a way to end that last sentence? Well maybe not as the many reality show celebrities seem to believe their own press releases and promote their often-times, irrelevant issues as major drama stories.
One area that is always a guilty pleasure of viewers and real people alike, is in the area of relationships. Watching these 15 minute stars get absorbed in their own drama has become a national pastime and for many, seeing how these characters deal with their relationships, which are for the most part, rocky, unrealistic and unhealthy, seems to be something that viewers don't seem to pick-up on as bad examples and lessons in what not to do.
One area that few if any people should ever consider is putting together a date or other meeting with an ex and telling them that you had considered your relationship with them and just wanted to set the record straight. Now, for a small minority of extremely open, well adjusted people, this might be an OK form of meeting and topic for discussion. However, for the vast majority of scorned, dumped or relationships that just ended or moved-on, this is a bad idea.
Raising old feelings, mostly negative, is a bad idea
If only for the dredging-up of old scars and wounds, ill-fillings or worse (anger, resentment and a whole litany of relationship emotions that on rare occasions end-up costing someone their lives), getting together with an ex, even if it is meant as an earnest exercise is an emotional gumbo of far too much potential heat. Frankly, I'm not a big supporter of therapists, doctoral or not, but this is one area that you should use the services of a professional mental health care counselor in whatever specialty suits you. You may have friends or family that you can rely on to be honest and good listeners and they would be far better targets for your epiphanies than your ex if the sole purpose is to clean-off your relationship page and move-on. Chances are, they haven't, or perhaps they just just recovered or are in a worse mentality than yourself. Bringing them in to listen to your ability to close the door on your intimate relationship is simply a head shaker.
Unfortunately, in this day and age of openness, alternative therapies and communication for the sake of communication, we seem to have lost the ability to filter and realize when something is simply not appropriate to discuss with certain parties. This is truly a skill that is learned for most and inherent in others who know how to navigate the social platform. In addition, our technology has detached us to such an extent from regular and healthy human contact, that most of the younger generations don't know how to deal with break-up not to mention healing from the hurt and starting anew.
Making things so bad, they break-up with you
Those of you with the big egos out there will recognize most of the Housewives on that terribly sad show (sad for how the characters portray themselves) as well as Millionaire Listings conspicuous consumption brats who just can't stop looking in the mirror. The dysfunction of these cartoonish people further supports my point that while these boorish baby snobs pile on the arrogance so thickly, we are left to see how their false sincerity rips others to pieces, mainly the viewers. Certainly, most of us recognize entertainment for what it is, yet millions fall for the rubbish that is being piled into each show, especially as it regards their relationships which are usually hollow, utilitarian (trying to get something out of it for their wallets) vapid and so many more negative descriptors that I don't have enough computer memory to put them all down.
Is it funny to watch people with such a high opinion of themselves drag other people down their own mental mountain-slide, it can be, but the lesson to learn for all of us, is that once there is an end to a relationship, don't keep trying to close it in a way that suits you by including your ex. Do it on your own time with your own resources. Your ex is no longer in your immediate network and with a modicum of decency, thoughtfulness and consideration (I know, I'm asking way too much) the issues that continue to cause you to struggle, should be dealt with by a professional or your own support system, just as your ex should use his or her own issues. This is not only practical but prudent and despite so many people seeming to need the drama in their lives, this is one area where they can do without any more of it.