PassionFile

Impeach Clinton but Elect Gingrich For Serial Cheating?

With serial cheater and philanderer Newt Gingrich being given a pass by evangelical Christians in South Carolina's Republican primary this week, we had to ask, at what point is someone with poor judgement, an arrogant personality and self-important attitude just not worth considering as a scrupulous, trustworthy and reliable person?

This cultural hypocrisy just seems to be steamrolling in our society, especially during these Republican Primaries. One candidate is being pilloried for being rich, while the other condemns you for asking about his personal disasters. Unfortunately for candidates like Newt, he won't get a pass from the rest of the United States. 

That's not to say people shouldn't get a second chance or even a third chance once in awhile, but more than three, on someones word? Perhaps, but not if you are going to play a significant role in anyone's life, like say... the President of the United States even at 69 years old. Let's say we forgave Bill Clinton his sexual indiscretions. Newt didn't when he was trying to get Clinton impeached while he was cheating on his wife! That seems a tad disingenuous doesn't it?

Open Marriage: A 21st Century Phenomenon Or Age Old Relationship System 

You might also say that his ex-wife's interview just a couple of days before voting in the South Carolina primary was ill-times, especially when she claimed he wanted an open marriage, which of course he denies. This wouldn't be the first time a less than attractive man (in the vast majority of cases) thinks he deserves to have access to multiple women while having their fidelity committed to them. This also sounds more than a little hypocritical. Yet it goes on around us all the time, even in this age of empowering women.

It seems that beyond the marriage turnstile of the celebrity world (Katy Perry's recent divorce after barely 18 months married and I need not go on, the examples being too numerous), it is less prevalent, yet stars still think they should be afforded this privilege. A recent example is another potentially disastrous engagement between well known womanizer Justin Timberlake and his on again off again  A-lister fiancee in Jessica Biel. A recent article suggested that she would be OK with an open relationship as long as Justin would come home to her and that she knew who he was consorting with. As if this is any different than the royal courts of Europe throughout the middle ages to to the Victorian era.

Sure, marriage is difficult, but why tie the knot if you want to have an open marriage in the first place? This wouldn't be a surprise to anyone if you had the dating and cheating records of any of the three men mentioned and suggested in this article, or considered failed marriages like those of Will Smith, Christina Aguilera or Ashton Kutsher.

An episode on the television series House tried to deal with this issue as well, where the physician Taub, a man of short stature, limited hair and a large beak on his face, seemed to have no end of options for cheating which he had done to his wife before. Was it degrading to women in general showing the desire of his wife to consider such an arrangement to keep Taub in her sphere after over a decade of marriage? I'm not one to decide, however, I can say as a divorced man, with children and having had many relationships in the past, that people who consider open marriage shouldn't be married in the first place.

I do believe that humans can love more than one person at a time, but the complications, conflict, communication issues and no end of effort to juggle the relationships, supersedes any carnal or other pleasures. The small minority of polygamists that will claim it is Gods will, or easy to manage, aren't living in reality. All you have to do is watch one episode of Big Love or Sister Wives to know what I'm talking about.

Open Marriages, Wife Swapping, Cheating: What's the real difference?

Are open marriages similar to wife swapping (more television shows to consider in this area)? Frankly, this form of open sexuality is just as substantial an affront to marriage and would preclude having an open marriage. That isn't to say I look down on or judge people who practice this kind of sexual promiscuity, as long as it is done considering healthy practices and any harm to family, friends and children of course. Although, I know that the lust and intense desire for sexual satisfaction often throws these considerations out the window with a long list of damaged relationships. It takes an intense and focused person to keep all of these moving parts under wraps and it is rare when it is done with integrity and consideration.

So the next time anyone is suggesting that they'd like an open marriage, or that it is something that is manageable and realistic, all you have to do is see what the relationship results for characters like Taub, Justin Timberlake or Newt Gingrich have been. If you can deal with the consequences, turmoil and humiliation for all parties, then you might be a candidate for an open marriage. If not, don't even consider it. That's what cheating, philandering, promiscuity and so many other terms would be used to define you after failed open marriage efforts where nobody will be happy and everyone will be hurt.