Should it be expected that a man be understanding and open to a woman who is dating while pregnant? This is not the kind of question that most people consider when dating, but with the rise of single moms (considered to be at about 30% of all mothers in North America), it is to be expected that single moms would be looking for love.
Pregnancy is a time that is emotionally charged and intimately wanting
The issue is why rush love or romance during an emotionally difficult period of time in a womans life? Is it selfish or even thoughtless to consider dating while pregnant, whether in the early stages or later stages when the baby-bump is far more obvious? Some would think that it is irresponsible to bring a man into your life while just getting acquainted with the new little person. Indeed it may be, depending on the maturity and insights into the truly difficult and all encompassing work that it takes to raise a child, not to mention going through gestation.
Pregnant in Heels is one show that tried to deal with this subject while considering the basic skills needed to take care of a newborn, not to mention a much more involved toddler. However, it didn't deal with the numerous subjects that are quite serious when having a baby, not to mention dating while pregnant. Certainly, the population that any woman may have to choose from will be significantly smaller. Men in general have to be prompted or cajoled into fatherhood, but to be tossed into it before even considering whether they want to be involved with someone else's child. There will no doubt be men who are looking forward being a father, but if they aren't prepared for a courtship with a pregnant woman, it will most likely end quickly and perhaps not so wonderfully.
Don't talk sex with your date while pregnant or not
Is it like not talking about food while cooking in the kitchen? Of course, the sex issue can easily be thrown into the mix. Whether for shock value, or on a serious courtship or first date, you wouldn't be advised to get into a long discussion about sex, since we all know how someone gets pregnant (and if he doesn't, then you probably don't want to be with him). It is first and foremost about whether the two of you are compatible. If the individual is open to a discussion about dating with a pregnant woman, then treat it like any other date as you can still be "like the Virgin Mary" meaning the pregnant lady may be conservative and reluctant to engage in sex with someone while pregnant, not to mention the need to consider safety in sex while pregnant.
Single pregnant mothers need to avoid always talking about pregnancy issues
There are some issues that should absolutely not be discussed if you are pregnant and dating and they are similar to what not to discuss when dating and not pregnant. That means the focus should still be on you and your date. Discovering commons likes and dislikes. Shared interests. Adding humor and discussing each others background and that doesn't mean who the father is. Or for that matter, how it feels to be pregnant.
Having support is very important especially if the father of the child has abdicated his responsibility. If the father is involved in your life, it makes it far more difficult to include anyone new in your life because the complications will be significant. Unfortunately, discussing things like cravings, baby kicking, or discussing the single parenthood issue and the former gentleman that the father was which will absolutely kill the date. On the show, the pregnant woman got into a situation with her date and started to cry with her date and made a toast to his new "friend", which is a date killer for sure.
Natural issues come-up and the focus should be on the child. Or don't have one
Not all parents should have children. Some aren't prepared and never will be. Others are too selfish, not intelligent and responsible enough and that is why we have such a high divorce rate and child issues that are so complicated from even 20 years ago. It is an emotionally charged time and while most people want love in their lives, they need to surround them together with the love that they have in their lives. The love that a person has with their families, friends, workers and others is often substantial enough to fill the initial void feeling like they are alone because a man isn't around. Think the four ladies from Sex in the City.
It is an unfortunate reality that many women feel they will be made whole by having a man in the picture and it can be far easier and fulfilling, but at the same time complicating and all to often problematic. There will be time to find that right man and the population will increase substantially if they aren't confronted by that baby-bump, the emotional roller-coaster of pregnancy and inevitable questions, discomfort with certain discussions and need to watch what you say. Being yourself and natural is always the best way to go about trying to find that right person. By adding pregnancy into the dating mix, you're sure to complicate things with your intimate and personal life and not get the ideal relationship that you should have or that you are looking for.
