Taking better care of your dog than your partner can be a red flag
Many people have friends or couples that are dog lovers. Some even see how those without children treat their dogs like their children. Doting on them, dressing them, feeding them vegan diets with all natural and organic ingredients. Those without dogs often don't get it.
The difficulty with dog lovers is when you may not be one and you find yourself attracted to the person
who is the dog-person. I found myself in a situation where I was attracted to a woman who was a lot of fun, had a great personality and plenty in common with me. Except for one thing; she had two dogs that had unlimited access to her and I. When we were on her couch, the dogs were too. Licking, barking and actively attempting to get both of us to play with them, wet ball and all.There seemed to be no boundaries which would have been questionable for a person with a human child too!
Allowing dogs into your intimate zone just won't let a relationship flourish
I was enamored with her to the point that this animal lovers involvement with her dogs and I didn't
bother me, at least initially. It was after about a month and her prioritizing the dogs needs over even her own, that I started to furrow my brow and our relationship started to cool. When trying to get intimate, these two pooches didn't just sit and watch, which can be disconcerting to many none dog lovers, but when they were able, they simply cuddled-up next to us when we were attempting to get intimate. That was somewhat difficult, since being romantic in my books, doesn't include dogs or any other animals for that matter. Couples know how difficult special moments are to come by, alone. Not to mention with unrestricted dogs in the mix. Can a person be romantic as an animal lover or owner? Sure. However, by allowing the pet into the zone of intimacy, if you will, well that is just a bit unusual, if not downright weird.
So much for that relationship. It was destined to fail when I wasn't a dog-lover to begin with. I don't get the passionate intimacy, kissing dogs, dressing them and even giving them "relief" if you will. If I were a dog-lover, I would certainly get it, but as a friend of many of these people, I can't be convinced that this behavior is conducive to a healthy romantic relationship not to mention any relationships for that matter.
I know I'll be hearing it from dog owners and lovers since they are a passionate bunch. My best
child-hood friend is a consummate dog-lover, shoveling tens of thousands of dollars into repairing his aging dogs hips among many other maladies. He has established a shelter for dogs and has an annual event to raise money for dogs, which I agree is a wonderful sentiment and activity. However, I see him childless yet acting as if his black lab is indeed human, affording him every luxury at the expense of his own health-care. Is there a limit to dog-love? I can see that there isn't in many cases and fortunately for him, he found a similarly profound partner to share this love of dogs.
Lisa Vanderpump: the poster-child for romantic doggie devastation
I've interviewed him and others like him and to the person, I'm looked at as a heretic for even asking
why? Or how they get romantic with their partner with the ever-present pooch or pooches? I'm reminded of President's dogs, Paris Hilton and her Chihuahua, the ever present Pomeranian teacup pampered pup of Lisa Vanderpump that is carried everywhere by her and her husband and so many LA and New York debutantes and monied ladies. What I can say, with confidence, is that as Ms. Vanderpump herself has admitted on more than one occasion, intimacy with her husband is almost dead, yet the affection and intimacy they heap on the toy dog is beyond anything that they have likely ever shared in their entire married lives. Deficiencies anyone?
Precious few couples enjoy unfettered romance and intimacy with their partners and when you throw in
a dog to the mix, children, a career and so many other obligations and distractions, is it a wonder why divorce rates are so high? That isn't to say, dogs are the sole reason for the demise of relationships. That can't be further from the truth, but just as parents break-down and buy dogs for their kids (who rarely if ever keep-up their side of the doggie care bargain leaving the tasks and obligations to the already busy and overburdened parents), adults often buy dogs to fill the void in their relationships while married and certainly when one of the partners passes away.
Tales of doggie financial windfall
Beyond the social detachment that dependent dogs have on certain owners, the media is filled with
examples of rich heiresses that have transferred their fortunes to their dogs. Devoid of an ability to relate with humans, they fall deeply into an almost trans-like state with their pets, who in their own minds, fill the voids of distant, long forgotten relationships or the inability to have them. It been proven in research study after study that pets are indeed comforting and the impetus to a longer, healthier life, but not one with intimacy and romance, two aspects of humanity that shouldn't be passed up for a wet nose, wet tongue and a paw.
In fact, this kind of relationship that is slow developing and hard to break, like a habit, is also related to the feel-good hormones that often mesmerize young-lovers. The cocktail of dopamine and serotonin aren't as substantial as when engaged in sex or at a first, titillating meeting with someone. It builds more slowly, but forms the same deep connections in our brains that in many senses can be identified as a
form of mental illness due to irrational choices being made for the dogs despite the needs of so many others. Indeed, many will argue that the simple pleasures of a dogs relationship are often more beneficial than one with a human, along with all of the heart-ache, drama, etc... but I'm not arguing about whether a dog can give a human comfort, comradery and pleasure at list in a limited fashion. The fact that these aged people find no room in their heart for humans, says it all, not to mention the lack or romance and intimacy in their lives with a partner. The instances are many and the fortunate dogs may miss their masters presence, but to sacrifice the touch of a human and more, is a fact that nobody should take lightly when considering how far you might want to take your pet into your heart and life.
