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The media and popular culture paint
achieving orgasm in a woman as the bellwether of
virility in a man. For most adults, our first exposure
to what an orgasm looks or sounds like came in the form of
movies and romance novels. In these we are taught to
moan, groan and breathe heavily. Men are shown
aggressively pumping pleasure into a woman, and she in turn
acknowledges this gratification vocally and physically.
This is what we learn, and this is what we believe.
Prior to 25 years ago, this subject was not
discussed in polite society. It was taboo and considered
ill-mannered. Today it is discussed, but it is still
considered taboo to admit to faking orgasm. Yet go to
any newsstand selling lifestyle magazines in the United States
and you would be hard pressed not to find at least one cover
touting the solution to achieving orgasm.
In 1996, when I first began writing about
sexuality, I privately interviewed 100 women (23-65)
about their sexual practices, likes and dislikes. Though
not scientific, a few themes emerged.
TOP
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100% had faked orgasm at some point in their
life.
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81% admitted to doing so with their current
partner
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29% of the married women stated they had never
experienced an orgasm either with their husband or
through self-manipulation.
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72% said they have never experienced an orgasm
through penile penetration alone.
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Of those whom did manage to experience
orgasm with a man inside, 40% were able to do so through anal
sex, and 69% by being on top. Another method that seemed
to work well was spooning or having the man come from behind,
assisted by clitoral stimulation or bullet insertions.
The average number of years of sexual
experience before a woman experienced her first orgasm: 5
years. TOP
The Why |
