by Ty McNaulty  

Like your inner chuckle at the way we give hand jobs, a source of great amusement for many women is a man’s obsession with his penis.

We marvel at the fact that you name it, calling it such endearing terms as Mr. Happy, Dr. Do-Right, Wally and Ralph. We giggle at the fact that, like a small child, you can’t always control its actions. We delight in the knowledge that it is a terrific barometer, rising to the occasion when we please you, and shrinking to hide if we do something you don’t like. As women, we understand that when you are first in our presence, your little pal does most of your thinking. It drives you to seduce us, crying to you how much it needs gratification, motivating you to ignore common sense and go all out to find a way to placate it.  Yes, we women have learned, men are not just physically attached to their penises, they are emotionally attached to them.

Urban Legends

There are all kinds of urban legends floating around about a man’s genitalia. Every woman by age twenty-five has heard most of them and we delight in proving them wrong.  For example, African American men are supposedly extremely well endowed. Then there is the ‘Men with short or skinny fingers have little penises’, or ‘tall men have short little ones’. Alright, I admit it. I'm guilty of checking out a guys hands when I meet him.

Performance works its way into the legends. Watch any porno flick and it will tell you that unless a guy is well hung, he hasn’t got a chance. Teenage boys measure their manhood by the size of their erections. They actually believe that if they have a big one, they are automatically adept lovers! Women on the other hand, have different opinions.
The maximum depth at which female stimulation can occur in the vagina is just 2 inches*.  Problem is, most men run right over the 2-inch barrier in an effort to create friction, putting all those extra inches to waste.  As women often say, it's not the size, it's how you use it.


Does size matter? We invited  30 women to compare notes on the over 225 men they have collectively been with, (For you number crunchers, that is an average of 7.5 men per woman). First, we managed to disprove every urban legend. African American men, like all other races, come in all sizes, from a pencil thin wild hairs to ‘Oh My GOD!’. Thin fingers were no indication of size to our relief, (one of the women is engaged to a surgeon with very small, delicate hands and he is substantial), and height and penis size had no correlation. What did surface as a factor was weight. Men with obtrusive beer bellies, (as women we refer to this situation as pregnant, sorry guys) appeared and felt smaller then they were. The general consensus of the group was that the fat prevented them from being able to adequately penetrate a woman, thus making him feel smaller.    On the flip side, if the woman was severely overweight, the same problem occurred.


there are advantages to each. Men considered below average in length and width are considered ideal for giving head. Their size fits easily within a woman’s small mouth, thus minimizing fatigue to her jaw and allowing her to continue sucking and licking for a long period of time without the danger of choking.

Another advantage of penises on the average to smaller scale includes anal sex. For the women who enjoy this, smaller is definitely better. If the guy is too big, this option is far too painful.

On the large end of the scale, big meant foreplay. There is something satisfying about being able to wrap both hands around a throbbing, pulsating and continually expanding piece of male flesh. Straddling also came up as an advantage.
Large size, either in circumference and/or length provides an ample runway that enabled a woman to slide and rub her genitalia over the entire male organ and bring both to climax quickly without penetration.

Large men also have the advantage in doing it doggy style or in a scissors fashion. Length proved optimal in several sexual positions where the distance between them and the depths of a woman’s vagina is expansive. The down side of huge? Pain. The bigger it is, the more it hurts. The more it hurts, the better the woman becomes at the art of faking orgasm. The overwhelming vote? Average was just perfect. 

Covert Operations

As women, we like to think that we are not so shallow as to consider size important, but healthy curiosity drives us to engage in several little tricks for checking out the merchandise before we actually see it. A favorite has always been the "Can I lay on your lap while we watch TV?" This is a harmless, coy and the easiest way to discreetly check a guy out.
First, the woman positions a pillow just right, ensuring most of her head is resting on it, while leaving the back of her head ever so lightly nestled against his groin. Within three or four minutes, this position usually produces desired results: a hard nodule pulsating against her skull. At this point, she’ll usually nuzzle her head against it, plotting the actual size and circumference on a blueprint in her head. Granted, it’s not the best measuring device, but if she can’t feel anything after five or ten minutes of nuzzling, she starts to get worried! 

Slow dancing is another effective means of gathering size data. The biggest draw back is that the songs usually only last three or four minutes. One woman I know gets around this problem by tipping the band with a ten and asking them to play a medley of Righteous Brothers hits. Once the first song starts, she then cuddles up to her date, resting her thigh against his pelvis. Throughout the set, she adjusts her position, rubbing her body against him in time to the music. By the end of the set, she has a pretty accurate picture of what he’s made of.


if they end up with a guy who is, shall we say ‘petite’. For short woman, (under 5’4"), this rarely becomes a problem.
For tall women, this can create an embarrassing and awkward situation. This is what happened to one woman on our panel when she encountered the small size situation.

"About seven years ago, I dated this guy. Smart, worldly and successful over 6'1" and 250 pounds, he fascinated me. I had no idea to his size and frankly I had not even thought about it.  After about three and a half months of friendship and intimate coffees, passion overcame us on a cold February night.

There, on the living room floor before a roaring fire at my place, foreplay escalated. He was a fabulous kisser, delightfully attentive. After a full body massage, one thing lead to another, and we ended up making love…at least he said we did. Somehow I missed it.  The problem was I never even knew he was in me! I couldn’t feel him…at all! And in case you are wondering, we were both stone cold sober. He was in AA, so he didn't drink.  I was devastated. What was I going to do? 

I agonized to my girlfriends; I felt so shallow and narrow-minded. How could I even consider not seeing a guy because he was well, petite? I was interested in him; I was not in love with him. I rationalized that we had only been together once and the position obviously contributed.  I vowed to find a solution to satisfy both of us, (battery operated toys come to mind), but I never had the chance.  His ex-girlfriend decided she wanted him back and he dumped me. Still, the situation left an impression on me. At least now I know there are ways through surgery, weight loss and creative positioning to alleviate the problem."


Truth be told size does matter to an extent, but performance, and what you do with it, is far more important. Case in point: Most toys are 4 ½ - 6 inches long and barely two inches around, which is far below or at the average size of a man’s penis. Yet, the woman using these toys have no problem feeling it or manipulating it to bringing herself to orgasm. Its size is irrelevant; it’s how she uses it that makes the difference. Any questions?
Henri Dufresne commented on 07-Nov-2011 01:01 PM5 out of 5 stars
The paragraph entitled "as to size preference" is really good because it is the first time i see a journalist speaking about the physical aspect of sexual intercourse. Too many people neglect it (Even MD) when it comes to penis size issue. By the way,
i didn't find anything like a "too big" penis in my own research.

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