When Does Menopause Occur?

Menopause generally takes place between the ages of 40-60; the average age is 51. But it can happen at a much earlier age. A close friend went through menopause at age 32. It took the physicians years to figure out what was happening with her. She went from her family doctor to her gynecologist to an endocrinologist (specializing in the glands that secrets chemicals such as hormones) who finally figured out that she was prematurely menopausal. Not a fun couple of years!

If a woman has a hysterectomy (her uterus removed) or an ophorectomy (her ovaries removed), she may quickly experience signs of menopause.

How Many Women Are Affected?

EVERY WOMEN! Nearly 1.3 million women reach menopause each year in the U.S. - that’s a lot of us. Over 43 million women will pass through menopause in the next 20 years. Of these, 20% of the women will have no outside signs, 20% will have extreme signs, and 60% will experience some degree of signs.  TOP

What Are The Signs?

You may be surprised to find out that her period doesn’t just stop, although that may happen. More likely, her  period will become shorter or longer (the average cycle prior to menopause is 7 days). It may stop for a few months and start again. Some women have intensified PMS - cramps, heavier bleeding and fatigue. One of my clients only had hot flashes; she wondered if she were supposed to experience other signs. There are no “musts” in this transition, except to take charge of your changes. Help your wife keep track of what is happening with her. Her individual signs will help you both direct the health care practitioner who is working with her.

She may feel depressed or tired. You may notice a change in her sexual desire, (don't freak...it's temporary!). By the way, your sex life does not need, nor should it stop because she is going through menopause.

A friend, Susan, experienced a decrease in desire and the sudden inability to have an orgasm. When she discussed her situation with her physician, natural testosterone (one of the hormones that feeds the libido) was prescribed to help renew her sexual desire. Some help care practitioners suggest using natural progesterone, others diet and vitamin supplement, and other HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy), though recent studies have put this option as harmful.

As with menopause itself, there are several approaches to working with changes in sexual desire. Since a good sex life is important to emotional and physical health, you and your wife can discuss changes with your health care practitioner. TOP
 

Men go through menopause too.  It is just not as dramatic.  Beginning in your forties you begin losing testosterone.  By the time you hit your late fifties, you may be surprised at the types of activities which interest you.  With testosterone loss, your nurturing side comes out and problems with anger, rage and impatience many young men grapple with diminish.  This is why older men rarely commit violent crimes and tend to do very well in leadership positions requiring a cool head and patience.  Have you ever noticed how many men in their 50's suddenly become very interested in gardening even when they hated it in their thirties? Blame it on male menopause.  Gardening allows men to nurture and create.  In essence his garden becomes his new child.

The down side is men become much more susceptible to oxytocin, the "love" hormone. Oxytocin causes many things to happen to a woman.  It is the primary reason women assume after having sex with you, you are an item.  This hormone causes bonding through copulation during her reproductive years.  As a protein, it also occurs in men.  Testosterone over rides it so you don't notice it when you are younger.

Decreased testosterone means you will not experience wanderlust like you did in your youth.  It also means love and leave them will become a thing of the past. This shift is one reason so many older men are attracted to women 30-40 years younger.  Usually it isn't sexuality.  It is the need to care for and protect.  Once he has sex with her, suddenly he becomes attached emotionally and the break-up can be devastating both physically and emotionally.  For women oxytocin's effect disintegrates during menopause.  Coming out on the other side, she now can engage in sexual relationships without ties or the bonding as you did in your youth.  It's one of nature's flip-flops that keeps life interesting.

Another flip-flop manifests in your mid-seventies when men and women reverse roles.  She becomes the aggressor, driven and often takes over as head household.  He becomes more nurturing, caring, emotional and often very playful.  Consider it a second childhood.  Have you ever noticed how many older men seem prone pranks and at time remind you of eight year old children in arguments and debate?

This reversal is actual important for survival.  Women generally outlive men and generally end up being the primary caregiver and decision-maker in the family once both spouses enter their seventies.  Consider it a license to play and enjoy throughout the later years of your life!

Now You Know!

TOP  Did You Know by LD Lewis
 

Related Articles

• Alternative Options to HRT
• Optimizing Fertility

• Advice On Adopting (from an Adult Adopted Child)

• Male Infertility

• Causes of Sexual Dysfunction

• Treatment of Sexual Dysfunction

• 8 Steps to Heightened SEXUAL
  RESPONSIVENESS

• The Modern Day Stork

• A Man's Guide to Menopause |

• Hormone Replacement Therapy: New Risks You NEED to Know

• Free Survival Kit to Better Manage Perimenopause & Menopause Symptoms

Symptom:
She Lost Her Libido:

Possible Cause:  Reduction in testosterone, (one of the hormones that feeds the libido)

Solution:
Prescription from doctor for low doses of testosterone
  .

Possible Cause: Reduction in all hormones  

Solution:
Prescription from doctor for low doses of testosterone or progesterone.
 

During puberty your body kept doing things to you that embarrassed you and that you couldn't control. Frustrated you'd often try to hide inconveniences when really you just wanted the to go away!  That's what your wife is going through now...again.  Only now it's functions like bladder control that can be affected.

Just like teens, she's on an emotional roller coaster.  Remember how quickly you could anger at 16, that powerful surge of emotion?  Women don't tend to get angry like men when frustrated or confused.  Women generally will internalize it and the emotion you see is depression and sadness instead.  When she has a down day (moody, depressed and apathetic) the best thing you can do is either take her out somewhere low stress with no crowds, or give her the day to be alone.

Cramps may also be a big part.  What she's feeling is similar to what you feel when you have a really bad case of diarrhea, gas and in some cares indigestion all at the same time.  The difference is these pains last for 2 to 7 days, without stop.  Sometimes these feel like someone is trying to rip you apart from the inside out.

Psychologically she is going through mixed emotions.  On one hand, she's very happy the monthly bills will stop, especially if she's hyper-sensitive to the symptoms. 

On the other hand she's feeling lament.  Even if she doesn't want any more children or never wanted children, menopause signals the end of the possibility.  A woman's period, pain that it is, is the monthly reminder of her femininity, youth and the essence of being female. 

As her husband, you can help her gracefully accept this by reminding her a little more often how beautiful  she is and how grateful you are she is a part of your life.  Though she always needs to hear this, during menopause it's even more critical.  Menopause is a very real reminder to her that she is getting older and many women have a hard time with this.