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Commentary Comments by CC CEO,
Laura Dawn Lewis
SKIP TO QUESTION
A Woman's Point of
View
When iVillage
ran a similar article on this subject five years ago, they received and
posted over 500 pages of comments from women; most were very
angry. This surprised me because I never realized so many
women are threatened by the thought of their husband looking at
the picture of a naked woman.
I've bought
boyfriends subscriptions to Playboy because there are several good
articles in each issue and it often provides insight into the way
men think and what is important to them. The pictures also provide
inexpensive models. As an artist, I've grown up studying the naked
bodies of both men and women. True, there is tasteful and not
tasteful, and like many I do take exception to overt sexual acts
displayed in print or close-ups on private parts. I do appreciate beauty
and I thing the human body is quite beautiful. Most of the men's girly
magazines I can't stomach. Playboy is about as hardcore as I'll
go. TOP
How I deal with this:
I've discovered the more tolerant of my
guy's need to see, the less the man in my life seems to want it.
I'd be more worried if he showed no interest at all.
Men are biologically programmed to respond to visual sexual
stimulation. The way I deal with it is I make a game out of
it. If I catch him, I get to tease
him and sometimes I'll ask what he finds attractive about her.
Usually, it has nothing to do with what I think. This
accomplishes a few things. First I learn a little more about
him, what he likes and what he doesn't. Secondly, it lets
him know I'm not threatened and that I find his male behavior
ingratiating. Third, I file it away. Some day I might
use that action or trait in a story. Thousands of years of
instinct are inherent in his "need" to see. Ninety-eight
percent of men admit to masturbating at least once a week, most do
it daily. I don't see a point in fighting it. It's a losing
battle and I've got more important things to worry about.
Women generally don't buy
magazines portraying naked men because sexual stimulus to women is
derived more from touch and thought. Seduction with
women is mental, which is one
reason many women find a man's interest in pornography for
self-gratification to be disgusting. Women fantasize and
create an entire scenario within their heads. Men look at a
picture and concentrate solely on the action. TOP
True, the Bible does say
that even to look at a woman, (or man if your female) sexually
that is not your spouse is committing adultery.
Unfortunately it is also instinct. The book of Matthew also
suggests that you remove your eyes should they cause you to look
lasciviously at any woman other than your wife. We'd be
extinct as a species if we all followed this guidance.
Male Ammunition
As a woman, the outrage voiced by many women over stag
magazines or movies I find hypocritical. There is a double
standard here gentlemen and a woman's holier than thou attitude
can be quickly smashed. Women
have their own form of Playboy and we use it right in front of you. It's not as visible or as easily attacked. Women use romance
novels. The written
descriptions buried in these are of overt sexual acts and quite
explicit. If she tries to
hide behind piety, the Bible contains some of the sexiest passages
on record. Women also use songs like Tonight's the Night by
Rod Stewart or Miracles by Jefferson Starship. Sammy
Hagar nailed it in his song Heavy Metal when he talked about
mental masturbation. That's how women consume porn,
mentally and carefully hidden in the pages of romance. Women
have virtual affairs. Men have virtual quickies. Men
look at a picture to fantasize; women do so within their minds
guided by the written word.
Where is the harm in this? You tell us, pro or con.
Read Porn Widow's plight and Dr. Mark's answer on the
following , then tell us what you think. We'll begin posting
a selection of your responses in the right side bar as we
receive them. TOP
Now, Porn Widows Plight:
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