The Last Resort

At three o’clock, she pulls into the driveway of the office of Dr. Climax. It is a normal, unassuming house reinvented into an office. Swallowing, Abby stands a moment, contemplating escape.  No, she can do this.  Gathering her courage with a final deep breath, she carefully places a foot on each step leading to the door.

 Woman after woman like her, frustrated, ignorant and completely void of ecstasy. Crawling along the baseboard she examines those closest to the ground; she concludes by far these prove the most explicit.  With each testimonial and exaltation she consumes, her hope strengthens. This man, the miracles he works!  Women ranging from eighteen to ninety-two, her age does not matter.  All of letters are filled with frustration and end in praise. TOP

The shrill squeak of sneakers twisting tightly against linoleum announce his arrival. Abby glances up from the floor, somewhat startled by what she sees.  About forty, he is clean-shaven and tall—nearly six feet two. The lab coat he wears is a testimonial to the Seventies, chaotic in its mosaic of tie-dyed starbursts in brilliant tropical colors. She feels dizzy simply gazing at it! Crowning his head is a wild array of copper colored curls bounce without discipline. Abby giggles to herself, first for the ostentatious display and then aloud as she sees the Nike’s on his feet. TOP

"Mrs. Ferrick?" he queries, smiling at her obvious amusement concerning his image.

Giddiness invades her. She cannot stop it. Overwhelmed she falls into hysteria, laughing uncontrollably as she points to his shoes.

"Don’t you think you took the advertising slogan a little too seriously?"  she laughs.

Puzzled, he allows her to continue

"You know, ‘Just do it,’" she cracks.

Abby notes he is not as amused as she and suddenly she realizes she is making a fool out of herself.

"I’m sorry," she chokes. "Please forgive me.  I’m really nervous. It was a really stupid joke. I say stupid things when I'm nervous, " she gulps melting meekly again into the corner of the sofa. TOP

He dismisses her outburst with a smile, extending his hand to greet her.

"Nothing to worry about.  I'm sure Nike will be happy to know their advertising works. I’m Dr. Climax. It’s been rather amusing meeting you Mrs. Ferrick." he chuckles. "I guess my attire caught you a little of guard. I hate white lab coats, don’t you?"

She nods, still embarrassed by her outburst.

"Great. Shall we get the mundane out of the way?" he asks motioning her down the hall.

Nodding anxiously, she trails behind him. Together they enter an examination room. Unsure of what to expect, Abby situates herself next to the table.

"Still nervous?" he states handing her a paper gown.

Abby nods shyly. She looks like a cat caught in the birdcage.

"Most of my students are. Don’t worry, there’s nothing to be afraid of," he assures with his voice. Turning and closing the door behind him, he disappears from the room.

Alone in the room Abby shivers.  With thoughts conflicted, her senses seemed hyper-aware. The thermostat reads seventy-two; to her the room feels chilled and near freezing.  In the silence each sound amplifies as slowly she undresses. First the hollow clunk of each shoe dropping, singular and echoing. Then down her back, her hand pulls the metal zipper.  The lower her hand slides, the louder the noise.  Each tooth crying, clattering and popping as it relinquishes its grip.  The sound echoes in the small room. Her dress now free from constraint, she removes it and folds it neatly on the chair. She turns. TOP

Picking up the folded gown, she wrestles with the static. Snapping and crackling, the tissue stubbornly stays together, then rips.  Finally with effort she is able to put it on.  Mentally she asks herself, what is she doing?  This is insane.  How did her marriage come to this?

Behind her the lock chamber turns.  The doctor enters.

"Ready?" he asks.

Though not sure, Abby answers yes.

Moving toward her he senses her apprehension.

"Let me help you relax, " he suggests resting his palms on her shoulders.

Gently and with precise movements his hands flex, easing the tensions deep within. Abby attends to his palms. They knead her skin between fingers and thumb. Each stroke engages her more divinely as his hands melt the inhibitions from her mind. Soon her eyes close and Abby feels herself succumbing to his will.

Noting her compliance, he begins to speak.

"Mrs. Ferrick, I trained in medicine as a general practitioner, but later resigned my license to pursue this very unique field.  I discovered I have a gift. A gift for doing something that so many men seemed unable to do. I have the gift of being able to teach a woman how to bring herself to a vaginal orgasm during sexual intercourse even when her mate is unwilling. Is this what you are here for, to learn how to reach orgasm?" he asks. TOP

"Yes," she answers dizzily.

"Good," he continues. "Let’s start with a few questions."

Backing away, he releases her shoulders and reaches for his stool. Sitting down he begins asking questions: how long has she been married? How many children and how many men she had been with? He covers the technical questions like did she have a history of depression, alcoholism or drug abuse. These problems often create difficulties with orgasm, relationships and intimacy.  Fortunately, these issues are not her problem. With her background complete, he delves into sexual technique by asking her to describe how her husband makes love to her.

"Well," she starts somewhat nervously. "He’s got great thrusting power."

Though angry at Brian, Abby feels it is important to say something positive. "We do about five minutes of kissing, he climbs on top of me and he’s inside. He grabs onto me and starts pumping."

"What does the pumping remind you of?" Dr. Climax asks genuinely interested. TOP

She considers the act for a moment and answers matter-of-factly. "A jack hammer, he reminds me of a jack hammer. You know, pounding into pavement, only I’m the pavement."

The doctor leans back a moment and a smile spreads across his face.

"Your husband’s a Thumper," he states. "No wonder you never reach orgasm."

Puzzled, Abby asks, "What do you mean, a Thumper?"

"It’s a phrase one of my patients coined. Remember in Bambi how Thumper’s foot vibrated fast and furious on the ground--boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Bam!”

She giggles, finally getting it; the analogy pretty much sums up her husband’s sex style!

"The name stuck. Most men have no idea what you are talking about if you refer to them as Thumpers and my patients definitely like the term. In ninety percent of my cases, Thumpers are the cause of the problem. Here, let me show you something," he adds reaching for her hand. TOP

Abby watches as he turns her hand over to expose her wrist.

He continues. "Here, feel this."

Taking a small rubber mallet, he begins rapidly pounding on her wrist.  After about a minute...

"Ouch! That hurts," she protests jerking her hand away from him.

"And it should. The skin on your wrist is similar to your cervix. It’s thin and very sensitive. When a man pounds on you inside with his penis, his very hard penis, it’s the same as what I just did to your wrist."

Abby considers the comment. "Is that why sex hurts the closer he gets to ejaculation?" she asks.

"Yes! And that is why you’ve never had an orgasm." he adds. "The Thumper method may stimulate a man but it does nothing for the women. The pounding numbs the nerve endings, killing any opportunity for you to feel. Add to this the fact that so much pressure has been put on your achieving one and you become so nervous that even classic external stimulation won’t work. Your nerves are numb and you can’t relax enough to enjoy what he may be doing."

For the first time, Abby  began to realize that maybe this isn’t all her fault! The relief washes over her in waves.

"But what do other women do in this situation? And doesn’t a man have to get all that friction going in order to cum himself." she blurts out. TOP

The doctor continues. "Most of my patients have become very adept at the art of faking an orgasm."

"Like in When Harry Met Sally?" she volunteers.

He laughs, "Yes. The real pros have even learned how to mimic the muscle contractions inside.  Most women don’t want to hurt their lover’s feelings and all know faking it is the quickest way to end the pain.  In fact nearly 91% of women fake orgasms from time to time. As for a man needing the friction, that’s a falsehood. It’s something they learn in high school from listening to the other boys. Some even pick it up from movies, movies made and written by men about what they think a woman likes and what they think a woman feels."

"So," she replies thinking aloud. "Not being able to reach orgasm isn’t my fault, it’s his?"

Dr. Climax shakes his head. "No, there is no fault. What’s in question is technique, both of yours. It’s not like your husband can take a class in the proper female stimulation. Most men conduct intercourse in the Thumper method because they don’t know any better. It’s up to you to show him how it’s done and you do have a say in it, even if he won’t listen. Do you masturbate?" he asks.

Horrified Abby stares blankly at the doctor.

"Mrs. Ferrick, I don’t mean to shock you," he sooths. "But in order to show your husband what you like and what works for you, you need to know your own body and what turns you on. Masturbation is the best way to learn." TOP

"But it’s a sin!" Abby shrieks. "I can’t do that!"

"That’s an excuse you are not behind," he observes. "What is your real reason?"

Abby squirms. Her forehead is hot and she can feel the sweat seeping through her skin. Truthful is hard in such a situation. She has never been asked to be truthful before, just accepted what is as the way it should be. Her needs have never been met.  Brian never asks what she wants or how she likes it.

"I don’t know how to masturbate," she whispers, her voice shaking with embarrassment.

"It’s nothing to be afraid of and it’s perfectly natural," he continues. "I’ll give you some aids before you leave to help you learn how. Now, back to the Thumper issue. How do you feel about exploring alternatives?"

Intensely he studies her face as she processes the information. He can tell she is still not convinced. After a brief pause, he adds, "Fortunately, from what you’ve told me, you don’t have any of the other problems that can temporarily inhibit your ability to reach orgasm.  Problems like stress, depression, addiction or disease…"

"What you are telling me is that I can do it, even if I’ve never, you know, touched myself?" she interrupts.

"Yes, and with your consent I will take you to orgasm today and show you how to achieve it nearly every time you make love with any man." TOP

Abby ponders his suggestion. She is beginning to realize the full implication of what he is suggesting. Perhaps it is the curiosity of being with a man other then Brian. Perhaps it is her desire to finally experience what it seems the rest of the world is privy to. The idea of sin subsides. She admits her motivation may be revenge for Brian’s infidelity. Whatever the reason, she is intrigued. .

"You want to make love to me?" she asks innocently.

"With you,” he corrects. “I want to demonstrate to you with my body the technique for achieving orgasm.”

"But you are talking about intercourse, right?" she clarifies

"Yes," he concedes.

"I’ve never been with anyone but Brian," she stutters. "I’m a little scared."

"If you’d prefer, I can just talk you through it," he adds easing her hesitation. TOP

Abby is indecisive. Would this be breaking her oath? Could it be considered adultery? Then again, she can consider this a class and this is the assignment. There is nothing wrong with getting involved in a lesson, learning everything she can. She is doing this for a good cause, to save her marriage. And her marriage is worth saving, isn’t it? She continues to rationalize until she feels justified. How can she refuse the hands-on instruction given her dilemma?

"No, I want to make Brian happy," she decides. "Please Dr. Climax, show me what to do."

A smile envelops his face.  It is always a thrill to watch a woman experience her first real orgasm. Most women are completely bewildered by the power of it. It is at moments like this, the moment of consent, he relishes his career. What man wouldn’t?

"You will not regret this, Mrs. Ferrick. Shall we?" he responds leading her out of the room.

Abby collects her clothing and follows him down a long corridor to a small room at its end. Stepping inside, her eyes behold a vision. The room is exquisite with candles, what seemed like hundreds of them and all white, illuminating the room in their fiery glow. She detects the faint aroma of coconut swirling in the warm moist air. Soft music mixes with the sound of a trickling stream emerging from the corner of the room. TOP

The room is simple and barren of furniture with its focal point expressed by a patchwork of blankets, some velvet and others in fleece and flannel.  These conceal the soft mattress beneath. Twenty or so pillows, big pillows and small pillows mark the boundaries of the makeshift bed. At its head, a small Bunsen burner warms liquid in small plastic bottles. Abby contemplates the miniature camp stove and its charges. She wonders what each contains. Slowly, her eyes complete her inventory of the room. Amazed, Abby gazes at the doctor with renewed appreciation. . Every cell of her being trembles with anticipation.  Brian has never done anything like this!  

Dr. Climax does not need to ask her what she is thinking. He can read it in her eyes. This woman who is about to embark on an exciting sexual experience, glows with the fascination of a small child. As she basks in her discovery, he covets her esteem. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he removes her paper gown.

"Mrs. Ferrick," he whispers motioning her to lie on the blankets. "I am going to tell you what I am going to do, then I will not speak again until we've completed our encounter." TOP   <End>

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