To change your life, you first must be honest about what you want, and what the obstacles are. 
Then you need to be willing to do the work to get it.
 

In a large city, this means poor neighborhoods, crime areas and personal and familial vulnerabilities, like the increased chance of your children being hit by a stray bullet, robbery and assault. Not so in a small town or smaller city where $40,000 a year buys a good living, a modest home and peace of mind.

Big City Consideration #3

With three small children she needs to consider the cost of education.  In large cities like these, you do not send your children to public schools if you can at all help it. I know this sounds elitist, but in these 5 cities, it’s true. Some students do make it out and succeed. These poster children are the minority and these are extraordinary, driven people. Private Schools range from $4,000-$18,000 per year. TOP

In Los Angeles, San Francisco, New York and most other major cities the public school classrooms are over-crowded. Teachers want to help, but find themselves overwhelmed by shear numbers and the challenges.  In major cities teachers must contend daily with up to 130 different nationalities, poverty, apathetic parents, behavioral problems, violence, threats and drugs. Though exceptions exist, expectations on the students to attain success is minimal. Critical thinking skills are not taught or demonstrated.  Special interests are given free reign to influence young minds even when parents object. Quiz any student from a major city’s K-12 district and you’ll be appalled at the substandard curriculum.  Enter a school and you’ll experience how each student must cope with day-to-day terror and fear.  Why would anyone want to trade a small town where $8.35 at least puts a roof over your head and your children can access their teacher?

Thousands of people do everyday.  They buy into the dream of a better life without investing in the steps. Many forget success is not an entitlement.  Capitalism provides an equal opportunity to succeed and fail, and most success are afforded after many failures.  It’s called paying you dues, and the dues are better paid in a smaller setting first.  Society does not owe you a living or success.  Society only owes you a chance.  It’s up to you to take it and make the best of it.

The Action Plan:
How to Go from (Small Town) Poverty to (San Francisco), Middle Class 

What does our female advice seeker need to do if she wants to change her life, regain her respect for her husband and keep her family together?  She needs a plan, a ten-year plan, and the tenacity to stick to it.  Here’s how we would handle it.