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Dear
Carlos,
Several studies have indicated that couples who really took
the time to get to know each other before getting engaged had
a much more successful marriage than those who did not. In
fact, one study stated that 83% of divorces could be traced to
couples that didn't bring up certain questions during their
courtship.
Sadly, too many couples wait until they are engaged before
they start asking each other the difficult questions. It's
like telling a potential employer you will accept the job
without knowing all it entails. Sure, you can pull out of the
commitment but it would certainly be awkward. Your "interview"
questions should come before the engagement, not afterwards.
There is almost a social taboo against backing out of an
engagement even when you know you are making a big mistake.
The study you are referring to in your question is the
the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory. This
will not accomplish what you are looking for but I believe the
following recommendations will.
I looked for good pre-marital questions a couple of years ago.
Although there are dozens of books on the market, none were
complete. Most only have 100 to 300 questions. These leave a
lot of territory uncharted. So, I took a year to compile all
the questions that couples should ask each other into an
e-book, 1000
Questions for Couples.
The 1000 Questions for Couples is also ideal for long distance
relationships since you can sign up for the bonus 300 day
e-mail course where you are emailed 3 or 4 questions each day
to answer.
One of the most popular pre-marital inventory tests is the
PREPARE/ENRICH test. It must be administered through a trained
counselor which you can find at
Life
Innovations. The cost will range from $75 on up but
considering that the average wedding cost $19,000 and a
divorce much more than that, it would be a wise investment.
If
you are Catholic, Lutheran or any of the major Christian,
Mormon or Jewish faiths, each of these faiths has pre-marital
courses for their members. Since you are in Mexico City,
there should be national offices for each faith in close
proximity. Just check your local phone book or contact a
church or temple elder. Religious pre-marital courses
usually take 3-6 months, but part of the purpose of these is
to work with the couple to ask and answer the questions before
marriage. Unlike books, this usual involves meeting with
a member of the clergy or rabbinical and working with that
person through the questions together.
Good Luck!
Michael
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