Relationships: 6 Months to Wedding Day

 
 
 
\

he loves me but won't commit?

Guest Relationship Expert, Dr. Tina B Tessina answers this month's Relationship Q&A

Is He Commitment Phobic... or is it me?


Dear Dr. Tina:

"I have been with my boyfriend for a little over 3 years. I have recently brought up the topic of marriage. A few months ago he told me that I complete his life and that he can't imagine his life without me, but then he says he not ready for the marriage "commitment".
 


 "If he doesn't know if he wants to get married than he doesn't "love" me as much as he says he does?"


PRINT

He says that it has nothing to do with me. He also says that he knows that I would make a wonderful wife and mother. Unfortunately, I take it so personal and become so depressed. He does NOT understand why I am so harsh on myself. I feel like if he doesn't know if he wants to get married than he doesn't "love" me as much as he says he does? We basically never argue and we are the best of friends. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. Why is he so scared and why does he say he can't imagine my life without me, but will not propose marriage. I'm not saying that I want to get married at the moment, but a promise of marriage would be nice. Can you please help me out? I'm so depressed. I don't understand?? He said that he would go to counseling with me. Help me please. What should I do? Should I drop the subject and keep dating him or what????"

Sarah (F) 25
Los Angeles, CA US
Together 3 years


Dear Sarah:

You may not realize it, but you're sending mixed messages about whether you really want to be married or not.  You're blaming yourself for his lack of commitment, and you seem to be fighting with yourself about whether you want the commitment or the relationship.  I suggest you take him up on his offer to go for counseling, and even get some counseling on your own.

Consider the picture you're presenting to him.  Why would he want to marry you when you're depressed and upset?  Get yourself together, and figure out what you want.  Do you want marriage Whether it's with him or without him?  Are you willing to be with him even if you're not married?  Pouting, being emotionally upset, and making demands are not mature and effective ways to build a working partnership.

Tina Tessina, PhD
 

TOP | Back to Relationships | PRINT

SEE Reader Feedback

 
Create a Romantic Moment with Colonial Candle  
 
E-books on RELATIONSHIPS Download these
Resources Today!
 

The Anatomy Of An Affair
Are you a victim of infidelity? Find out how to prevent it from happening AGAIN!
 

Reshape your Womanhood!
Sex & happy relationships! Vital tips, techniques and advice to maximize pleasures and happiness
 

Bring Back A Lost Love!
Learn how to mend your broken heart & bring back the Love of your life, no matter how hopeless your situation appears.
 

 

How to Break Free From An Affair


WHAT AM I
DOING WRONG?

 

 

Should You Stay or Should You Go?
 

 

Men Made Easy
Secrets About Men You Absolutely Must Know.


The Woman
Men Adore

Become the woman of his dreams
 

Attract A True Love Secrets
108 Easy Ways To Find, Attract, & Keep a True Love! Be ready to be adored, desired, touched!
 

Long Distance Lovemaking
Make Love, Even When You're Apart. Learn the Lovemaking Secrets for staying passionately connected

 

Creating Relationship Magic
Discover The Secrets to Creating A Magical Relationship. Even if you feel like you've failed a hundred times before

Lifeline After Divorce
"A Program for Recovery"

CHECK HIM OUT!
THE AMERICAN WOMAN'S GUIDE TO BACKGROUND INVESTIGATIONS

50 Secrets Of Blissful Relationships
Discover what the top 1% of couples know
 


Save The Marriage
Even if Only You Want to Work on It. Discover how to move from stalemate to soul mate.
 

 

Communication Magic
The Amazing Formula For Communicating Straight from The Heart to Create a Lifetime of Love...

 

1000 Questions
for Couples


Romantics Guide to
Popping the Question
 

E-book Search Engine:
Over 11,000 titles in our library!  Enter a subject or keyword below and find your solution!

 
 
About Andy
About Judy
Single Directions
Articles
Website
Relationship
 Home
 
 

EMAIL
this
Article
 to a friend


Comments?
Tell Us What
You Think!


Ignite
Romance

with

Couples' Company's
Exclusive
Romance
Store!

&
The Dating
Store

 
 

Single Directions, founded by Andrew Whaling in 2000, is a nonprofit organization dedicated to improving relationships. The Center sponsors the Seminars for Singles program, plus other educational a

For More info Click Here
 

Please Read Our:
Privacy Policy
Legal Disclaimer
Home | Advice  | Features  | Jungle Mystique  | Shopping  | Corporate | Club
Dating  | Romance  | Relationship  | Marriage Sex  | ParentingFinance
2nd Marriage
| Law  | Fitness | Health
Copyright © Couples Company 1999-2004
All Rights Reserved