|
Misery loves company, but those who invite you into their pool
of sorrow are like the shivering diver in the freezing water,
covered with goose bumps from head to toe, calling out, “Come
on in, the water’s fine!”
Those who have compromised this ideal,
or have personally given up hope, are usually the ones who
sadistically advise others to lower their standards, “be more
realistic”, and settle for something less than what is
sought. But for those of us who know the score, we know that
the ideal still lives on. If we’re honest with ourselves it
is easy to see that what every person really wants to find is
a “god” or a “goddess” with whom they can be supremely safe
and happy the rest of their days.
I’m reminded of an interview that
impressed me many years ago of former Secretary of State
Alexander Haig’s wife. Reminiscing on her first meeting of
her future husband, Mrs. Haig said, “The first time I saw
(Alex), I thought him to be some sort of a god…”
No matter your politics, this
experience of Mrs. Haig, of finding a “god” in the man she
came to love and be loved by, is a reflection of a
subconscious wish universally held by most humans to likewise
find their “god” or “goddess”. This desire for a superhuman
person to be with is not easily extinguished just because such
a person is hard to find.
TOP
In the movie Superman I found further
evidence of this subconscious yearning. In the theme
song, Lois Lane is fantasizing a conversation with this
masculine creature that has recently come into her life.
We find her saying, “You’re a god…I’m a fool…” But even
though the song obviously is about the Superhero, the real
appeal of the song is in the fact that every mortal shares the
same secret yearning for someone – anyone – to come out of the
woodwork and fulfill their fantasy of a godlike person with
whom to share their life.
The Key to Winning the One You
Want:
Fulfill His/Her Fantasy
Everyone is really looking for
perfection, whether they admit it or not. What they want is a
“god” (or “goddess”) with whom to spend the rest of their
days. So, one of the keys to winning the one you want is to
satisfy that desire – be that god for whom they are looking!
So often we are so anxious to reveal
ourselves for the bumbling wimps we are, that we lose sight of
this universal fantasy, and forget to make the object of our
love suit’s dreams come true. We really do have that capacity
to be the fulfillment of those dreams, much more than most of
us realize.
You don’t have to be immortal or able
to fly to be perceived as a god, though. All you have to do
is meet certain psychological needs, and the One You Want will
then be more than willing to meet you halfway with their
imagination in seeing you as someone they could adore and
worship. But you must to do your part as well.
TOP
Consider five ways that you can easily
tailor your behavior to match their hopes and dreams. Years
of experience and research have proven to us that, if you
follow these tips just fairly well, you will succeed in
filling the fantasy of the one you want, and you will win
their heart and love.
|
1) Appear Invincible.
The first noticeable quality of a
god is that he is invincible. So, if you want to be
adored by the One You Want, you need to follow suit.
This means no signs of defensiveness, neediness, or
being clingy in a relationship. People admire
strength, while despising wimpiness. And yet, your
greatest opportunity to demonstrate invincibility
actually comes while under fire!
Example: One young man we knew many years
ago had been dating an attractive woman who
he thought he was making progress with towards
marriage. But one night when he brought up the
subject with her, she came unglued. Marriage!! What
in heavens name was he talking about? She thought
they were just friends, sorry to report, and revealed
to him that she had her heart set on someone else they
both knew! Of course that was very distressing to our
acquaintance, but he did a most divine sort of thing
and changed her perspective of him, literally
overnight!
He didn’t get defensive. He didn’t beg. He didn’t
cry. He didn’t plead or try to change her mind. He
just very calmly looked at her after her emotional
outburst and he said, “Well, Kellene, what would you
like to do? Would you like to stop dating? I just
want you to feel comfortable with however we handle
this.” And then he just waited.
Well, no, she explained. She enjoyed his company
very much. He just had to understand that there would
never be anything romantic between them, but as long
as he accepted that, they could continue to enjoy
outings together. He said fine, and since they had
already planned something for the next evening, he’d
see her then.
TOP
But he was so calm and unruffled about the whole
thing it just blew her away.
Later her roommate told me that when Kellene had
come home she was mesmerized. She just kept saying,
“He was so understanding… I wonder if I oughtn’t to
marry him after all?” By the next night she was
hooked. She saw him in a totally new light,
invincible, godlike, independent, and strong simply
because he had appeared so unflappable in the face of
her rejection. She sensed he could survive without
her, even though she knew he really did love her.
Overnight he became a god in her eyes. Today they are
happily married with several kids, the last I was
aware.
NEXT PAGE
Page:
1 |
2 |
3 |Return
to Dating |
|
|
