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I lived this song
I Can’t
Make You Love Me first hit the airwaves about the time I
was at the tail end of a relationship with a girl I will call
“Aubrey”. It was especially haunting for me to listen to it
each night on the radio as I was driving home from her house
because it was so accurately descriptive of our relationship
and where we were heading. It absolutely hit the nail on the
head of what we were experiencing at the time and I knew it!
We never
discussed the song, but I knew she must have been hearing it,
too, and identifying with it as well as I was. The irony was
that it didn’t have to be that way. I can say this for
sure because I was the apathetic one in the
relationship and I knew exactly what was missing,
preventing my feeling as excited about the relationship as she
was. It was so simple. And I was as disappointed as she was
that she was failing to really turn me on, in the ultimate
emotional sense!
One night,
through tears of despair on her part after I had gotten to the
point where I was still showing up, but wasn’t even holding
her hand anymore, she said, “Tom, it’s no use… Obviously, we
can’t go on like this… I guess this is it…” I agreed, sadly,
and drove away for the last time.
TOP
She Missed Her Chance to Make Me
Love Her
True, I hadn’t
been feeling a lot of passion for her at the time. But,
still, I was so disappointed to have the relationship end.
Because I knew there was such great potential there. If she
would only stand up and take some control! She needed to take
personal responsibility for failing to inspire my heart. Her
sitting back and hoping I would somehow turn around on my own
was futile wishing.
But she, like
the forlorn soul of the song on the radio, mistakenly believed
she was a victim of circumstance and was powerless to win my
heart. (If that were true, I wouldn’t have invested the time
I did in the first place! She simply needed to change her
approach a little bit.) Like so many others, she swallowed
the old conventional tradition that “she couldn’t make me love
her”, while the truth was that she really could have if she
had only done a few things differently.
TOP
Although
Aubrey felt powerless to win my heart and “make me love her”,
that was only an illusion. She could have had me eating out
of the palm of her hand, with a few simple adjustments in the
way she related to me. (And so it is with most failed
relationships!) To this day, I’m not sure if her inaction was
naïve ignorance or a conscious choice to remain in denial
based on a stubborn determination to not change. But, no
matter, she refrained from change, and instead endured a
broken heart. She had power, but she never exercised it.
The fact is,
though, it doesn’t have to be this way for you. All it takes
is a little bit of insight (that I am now about to impart!)
and a personal decision to take responsibility for winning the
One You Want. You can’t just sit around hoping that Fate will
look kindly upon you!
TOP
The Secret to Instilling Passion in
Another
In spite of
what the song says, and what the masses believe, there is
something you can do to make another person love you. It’s
just a little different from what most people, including the
girl (who was a very special girl to me, by the way) think it
is. She gave up her dream, instead of just changing her ways.
The problem
was that she was just too available to me. I knew I had her.
The challenge was dead. True I had no passion, but I would
have begun having it if she had simply begun putting a little
more emotional distance between us, while continuing to act
friendly in a Platonic way.
The reason the
One You Want is apathetic towards you is because you
haven’t given them enough of a challenge. That is the
pure and simple truth. If you allow them to possess you too
easily, you’ll be taken for granted and they will be
passionless.
TOP
If you want to
have them start loving you the way you’ve been loving them,
with intensity and “feeling the power”, then there is only one
course open to you: You’ve got to start reestablishing the
challenge by taking back some of your dependence on them. You
must show that your happiness is something that does not rely
upon them.
By behaving in a more emotionally
independent way, the one who has felt so confident of their
power over you before will begin having some new doubts.
Don’t totally retract your friendship or nurturing ways, but
simply become more elusive, evasive, and independent. Throw
more uncertainty into the mix if you wish the One You Want to
be passionate about you!
TOP
You may choose
instead to lay down your heart and surrender your independence
early, just because it feels good to fantasize that you’ve
found someone to take care of you. But when they finally
throw in the towel and tell you “it’s just not there” for
them, you have no one to blame but yourself.
TOP
Always
remember, you have the power if you’ll only exercise it. You
can turn the tables on your apathetic loved one! You
can make them burn with desire for you! Their PASSION
depends on you playing hard to get. The decision is up to
you. END | BACK
Thomas
McKnight’s Love Tactics System™ is a set of proven principles
assembled to break through emotional resistance and melt even
the most stubborn of human hearts. Join “Love Connection”
host Chuck Woolery for a guided tour through the System at
http://cc.lovetactics.com/ for an experience that will
change your life and empower you to win the One You Want!!
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