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Since the divorce, my mother-in-law has moved
to Colorado, but she has done what she can to stay in contact
with her daughter via phone calls, letters, pictures, and offers
to visit her or have her come visit. My
father-in-law and his new wife have blocked her efforts at every
possible chance, including blocking her phone number. Now
they've served her with legal papers to terminate her parental
rights so that the new wife can adopt the daughter as her legal
child. They still live in Texas; would she have to travel back
to Texas to fight this? Can they force her to give up her
parental rights? What can my mother-in-law do, and what are her
rights?
Mother-in-law's Advocate (F) 25
Virginia Beach, VA
Dear Mother-in-law's Advocate,
It's very difficult for a parent to terminate the parental
rights of the other parent without proving that the other has
caused extreme harm or detriment to the child. Most states
protect one's right to remain the parent of a child unless he or
she exhibits destructive behaviors toward the child and other
parent.
If your mother-in-law could not care for her daughter at the
time of the divorce because of drug use, or psychological
reasons such as attempted suicide, the father may have grounds
for petitioning for limitation or termination of the mother's
rights. But courts usually provide many opportunities for a
parent to demonstrate that they've changed and can now take care
of the child.
The girl's age weighs heavily in the mother's favor. A
14-year-old may be able to care for herself even with an
incapacitated parent. Many states have laws, or tacit
understandings in the legal community, that 14-year-olds are old
enough to be left alone or act as babysitters for younger
siblings. So your father-in-law may have a difficult time
terminating the mother's legal rights if she can appear in
court.
Since the child and the mother lived in Texas, the state of
Texas will have jurisdiction over the case. So the mother will
have to make arrangements to appear in Texas to fight the
parental terminations. Given the serious nature of the matter,
it may be possible for the mother to testify by telephone if her
financial resources are limited. Each state has different rules
regarding how a party may appear in court. I recommend that your
mother-in-law discuss her options with an attorney in the Texas
county where the action is filed. If finances are severely
limited, the court may have a low-fee or no-fee program
available to help her.
If the mother has the resources to hire an attorney to appear in
court on her behalf in Texas, she should ask the court to make
specific orders allowing her contact with her daughter and, if
possible, regarding having the child travel to Colorado for
visits.
The father is clearly trying to cut the mother out of their
daughter's life. As she was 12 at the time of the divorce, it's
likely that the child has clear memories of her mother. While
the father may cause the mother to incur legal costs and
aggravate her, he can't completely erase her from the daughter's
life. The best thing the mother can do is to get legal advice in
the county where the action is filed so as to present her side
to the court properly.
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