Any Suggestions for Dealing with a Small Penis?

Dear Dr. Joan:

After 2 years of knowing him and 9 months of dating, we finally make love. The challenge, my fiancé is extremely small! Erect he might be three inches. It was as if everything grew up except his penis - it stayed the size it was at age 10!

I believe he knows he is small and as a result has a very hard time maintaining an erection. It doesn't matter what position we try, just before penetration he loses it. During oral sex I must hold him very tightly, he does achieve orgasm but if I let go of him for any reason the erection is gone.

One evening he was so frustrated with the situation that he stopped everything we were doing. The situation became very awkward - he explained that he seems to need "constant" stimulation. I know it was very difficult for him to discuss this with me. There doesn't seem to be any pain on his part (I thought there might be as he has a rather pronounce bend rather like a crooked finger) but that's not the case. I was thinking of purchasing a ring, I believe he would be open to it - but frankly I'm not sure they come that small. Suggestions?

Loving Every Inch (F) 40
Los Angeles, CA

Dear Loving:

Before you go much further, you definitely need to address this problem. Unless you are both asexual, a bad sex life will ruin your relationship.

However, there is hope and many things that you can do, just as you are trying to do. Perhaps the cock ring will work, maybe Viagra® or there are splint-type devises that he could use.  If he has the money, he could check with a medical doctor about a penal implant. 

However, you never mentioned anything about your personal sexual satisfaction. Does he sexually please you? If so, that's great as a man gets more satisfaction giving than receiving pleasure. There are many other ways to achieve orgasm without intercourse. Learn to play with all parts of your body, mouths, tongues, fingers - whatever works! Are you aware that the majority of women achieve orgasm through clitoral stimulation - that's why vibrators are so popular.

Dr. Joan

Relationship and support group