Weekly Relationship Q&A

HOW CAN I TELL IF MY GIRLFRIEND
IS CHEATING ON ME?

The Five Signs of Cheating

QUESTION:

Dear Tina

How do I know if my girlfriend is cheating on me? I think she is but I can't prove it. Is there anything I should look for?

Brian, Ft. Lauderdale, Florida

ANSWER:

Dear Brian:

You don't tell me what tipped you off, but I'm not so sure trying to "prove" she's cheating is the right thing to do. How about telling her the things you've seen (or heard from other people) and asking her what's going on? Don't accuse her of anything until you know it's true. And, if she does turn out to be interested in someone else, and you still care for her, ask her what you could do to fix your relationship. If it's over, don't bother fighting with her about it -- just let her go. You can't make a relationship with a dishonest person. If she is cheating, you'll be upset and angry -- but don't take it out on her, or anyone else. That will make you the bad guy. Use that energy to move on to something better.

Sometimes guys suspect their girls because they feel guilty about their own behavior. If you know you haven't been treating her right, or you have been cheating yourself, clean up your own act before talking to her. You might both need to correct your behavior.

That said, here's Dr. Romance's

Five Signs She's Cheating On You:

1. Her habits change:

Your girlfriend, who was always there when you called, is suddenly (or gradually) less available . She has plans. She's paying more attention to her look. This could mean she's trying to get your attention, or that she's found someone. If she shows up with new jewelry or other new things, maybe someone bought it for her.

2. She's not asking for affection and attention:

She used to ask for your time and attention, for you to say you love her. Now she's stopped. It could mean she gave up, or it could mean she's getting the affection she craves somewhere else.

3. Gossip

Maybe her friends (or their Facebook pages) are hinting that she's doing something behind your back.

4. She stops talking as much about what she's doing

She used to tell you everything she did; now she's keeping secrets.

5. Uninterested in sex

If she's not interested in sex with you, she may be getting her needs met elsewhere.

On their own, these signs don't indicate your partner is cheating. Various issues can create each symptom. However, if most or all are present, it's time to have a conversation and if necessary, end the relationship.

Good Luck!

Dr. Tina B. Tessina

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