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Parenting Ages 0 through 24 |
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This Article Applies to Children between 3 and 12 years of age.
Cell phones
& kid's sports
By Dr. Mark Goulston |
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It’s better for you to not show up at all than tease your pre-school or elementary school child by being at one of their sports activities (in order to get credit for going), but then not give them your attention when they’re performing (you have a little leeway when they’re merely practicing and it’s also not so necessary beyond elementary school when the person they will connect more with is their coach and teammates).
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If you’re going to attend one of your kid’s school sporting events and you’re going to be on your cell phone, don’t bother going. |
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When your kids are performing and they’re on the spot, they are going to make eye contact and try to connect with you whenever they mess up, get hurt or do great. They’re doing that so that your glance can tell them, “It’s okay, hang in there,” when they mess up or get hurt. Or alternatively it tells them, “Yes! That’s great. Good for you,” when they do well.
Parents being preoccupied and not connecting with young children may explain the phenomena later on in life of adults not being able to remember their childhood. When we look back on our childhoods as adults, we don’t remember our selves, but we do remember other people’s (i.e. our parents) responses to us when we did or didn’t do well and when we were feeling hurt and scared or victorious and triumphant. When parents don’t respond, we don’t feel important enough to them for them to pay attention. This then translates into our
childhoods not being significant enough for us to remember when we become adults.
bottom line: If you’re planning to attend one of your young child’s sporting events, and you’re going to be constantly on your cell phone, chatting with your neighbor or doing deals when your kid is performing, don’t bother going.
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