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I fear that if he
doesn't soon, there will be negative effects on our lives in
the future. How do I get him to take it seriously and start
TODAY?! I have nagged about this for over 2 years! Help!
Frustrated
(F) 23
Owensboro, KY
Together 3 years, Engaged
Dear Frustrated,
Just to be sure I
understand what you’re asking:
You’re afraid that if
your fiancé doesn’t file for bankruptcy it may have a
negative effect on your lives?
Excuse me? Somewhere I
got the impression that a bankruptcy had negative effects, for
a long time to come – like seven or more years. If my
impression is right, and I’m pretty sure it is, then I think
you should be encouraging your fiancé to avoid
bankruptcy instead of getting into it!
Rather than nagging him
about filing, has it occurred to you to help him prevent a
bankruptcy by assisting him in developing a better spending
plan or to work out a settlement plan with his creditors?
Why is he in debt? Did he
just go nuts with credit cards during high school or is he
deep into student loans incurred while attending medical
school? There are different ways to deal with different kinds
of debt, but rarely is bankruptcy one of them – particularly
if he’s in his early 20s. This sounds to me like a bullet he
should bite.
Why on earth would you
want to enter into a marriage with a bankrupt partner? Let me
guess. You want to start out with a clean slate when you make
all those expensive wedding plans, thinking a bankruptcy will
just let you rack up more bills!
Have you any idea how
important it is start a marriage with a firm financial
foundation? You certainly don’t need to have oodles of cash
in the bank, but when you go to buy your first home, trust me;
you don’t want a bankruptcy hanging over your head.
Since I don’t know a
thing about your fiancé, except that you think he should file
bankruptcy and marry you, it’s really impossible for me to
provide any significant financial advice to him.
But since you asked, I have some
advice for you: Stop nagging your man. If you don’t
want to have “negative effects on your lives in the future,”
learn how to support and encourage him. Don’t head down that
aisle until you both get rid of the baggage and bad habits
that don’t belong in any happy, successful marriage.
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