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He is concerned that my delinquent
credit cards will disrupt or negatively affect his almost over
bankruptcy if we get married. We want to get married now, but
I don't want my poor payment history to poorly affect his
bankruptcy. Please advise.
Kaejay, Female (43)
Tehachapi, CA
Dear Kaejay:
You’re smart, Kaejay, to be concerned about the effect your
credit may have on a new hubby. First thing that occurs to me
is how great it would be if the two of you could start your
marriage without any of this stuff hanging over your heads.
It
sounds like your fiancé really has a handle on his situation,
so let’s concentrate on you. You say that it’s only recently
you’ve gotten behind on payments, but that could simply be the
beginning of a downward spiral. It would be a shame to drag
your guy right back down into the hole from which he’s just
emerging. Wouldn’t you feel a whole lot better about yourself
if the two of you began your life together with a clean slate?
Disagreement over money is the number one reason couples
split. With divorce rates so high, why start your marriage
with this sort of risk? A much better idea would be to set
the wedding date as a reward for your fiancé’s bankruptcy
over, and your credit card payments, at the very least,
brought current. Of course it would even be better if they
were paid off!
Should you plan an inexpensive ceremony, the wedding will
still cost money. If you’re already in debt, it’ll just set
you back further. Any chance you could actually save up money
for the wedding ahead of time? On top of paying off debt? It
would launch a much stronger union.
The
fact is, debt you incurred prior to marriage is yours. It
won’t affect your spouse’s bankruptcy. That doesn’t mean it
couldn’t play havoc with marital bliss! If you want to make a
major purchase, such as a house, a lender isn’t going to look
at each of you separately. A lender is going to consider a
couple with a bankruptcy and delinquent payments between them
and either bow out or charge you an arm and a leg.
If
you absolutely insist on going into a marriage saddling your
partner with a bad credit history that appears worsening, then
give him the benefit of premarital counseling with a financial
planner or attorney. Draw up an agreement keeping your debt
separate. In California, income earned after marriage is
considered community property. If any of your spouse’s income
is used to pay off your prior debt, assets may become
co-mingled and indeed affect credit for both of you.
Are
you getting the picture that I think marriage for the two of
you before you have your credit card debt under control is a
really bad idea? Please seek competent legal advice before
tying the knot under these circumstances. Or visit a consumer
credit counselor in your area. Surprise your intended by
getting counseling and getting out of debt. This will be the
most wonderful gift you can give him! Start here:
http://www.moneymanagement.org/index.asp?RCID=46
Get
control of your finances, Kaejay, and then let us know when
the wedding will be!
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