Awful People:
Whiners & complainers
A whiner is a screamer in sheep's clothing; A screamer is a whiner in creep's clothing.
In Awful People: Part 1 - Bullies, you learned about bullies that beat you up either verbally or through threats. Whiners don't beat you up, they wear you out. Rather than intimidate you, they exasperate you. Bullies and whiners have much in common. Both are high maintenance being much easier to upset than they are to please. Both are also unwilling to take "no" for an answer. A screamer is a someone who so hates to take "no" for an
answer that they will start screaming before you even say it to them. They demand rather than ask to preempt any discussion or dialogue which might cause them to not get their way. The last thing you feel like doing when they're on a tear is to insist on your "no" and have them become more vitriolic. They know that you will either back down or at the very least not provoke them further and they use that to their advantage. A whiner is someone whom you have told or anticipates your telling them "no." They don't demand like screamers do.
They whine to try to get their way by making you feel guilty. It sometimes works temporarily, but over time they exasperate you and may even cause you to become a screamer when you can't take their complaining any more. Next week in the third and final installment of the "Awful People" series, learn the simple way to deal with both the "Bullies" and "Whiners." |
