Like many Americans, I have wondered how to mark this tragic day in our history. For some reason, I flashed back to my father's funeral eight years ago. As I kissed his cold forehead, I heard him speak to me loudly and clearly: "Don't treat a small thing like big thing and don't treat a big thing like a small thing." These words have served as a compass for me ever since, and I hope they will continue to do so for as long as I live. TOP

I would like to think that, like my dad, those who died on 9/11 loved this country and their families -- and that they would have likewise wanted to pass on to us some guidance as to how to live our best lives. These are the lessons I have learned because of 9/11, to add to the one my dad imparted to me after he died:

1. Realize that we are stronger than we think we are. As unbearable as those first few hours and days and weeks were, we made it through. We didn't panic and we didn't crumble.

2. Hold close those near to us. There's no reason to feel guilty about how much more we now appreciate our loved ones. Those who perished on 9/11 surely don't hold it against us.

3. Life "never being the same again" doesn't mean it is entirely different. Just because we feel that America has in some ways changed forever, it is still recognizable as the same land of opportunity and freedom that it was on Sept. 10, 2001. TOP

4. Don't put off living or loving. Let's say our "Thank you's," "I love you's" and "I'm sorry's" sooner rather than later. The tragedy of 9/11 demonstrated how precious life is. Putting things off until later may not be such a great idea, because there just might not be a later.

5. Set priorities and live accordingly. We should give more of our time and effort to what is important and cut our losses with what, in the long run, is unimportant. Let's learn to live life with purpose.

6. Replace materialism with connectedness. Let's realize that the best things in life are free. Let's continue to reach out and touch people instead of trying to one-up them.

7. Don't retreat back from the community into isolation. The commonalities of fear, outrage, grief, hurt and sadness enabled us to come out of our isolated existences and connect with each other. We need to keep that community connection alive.

8. Resist cynicism and bitterness. Let's continue to feel and take pride in America. If we don't do this, the terrorists will have won.

9. Turn this wake-up call into a grow-up call. It takes 30 days for behavioral changes to become habits, and a minimum of six months for habits to become enduring ways of living. So let's persevere with our new ways of loving and living with each other -- and encourage those around us to do the same.

10. Don't treat a small thing like a big thing and don't treat a big thing like a small thing. My dad was right. TOP
 

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