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The Power
of Gratitude
After
practicing psychotherapy for 20-plus years, it is clear to
me that people who feel gratitude have better lives than
those who dwell on their disappointments. And people with
the best lives -- and the least regrets -- not only feel
grateful, but express their gratitude to those individuals
to whom they are thankful. |
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Have you
ever noticed, Seniors tend to be either very happy or
very cranky. Whom will you become? |
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In fact, it is impossible to feel grateful and bitter at the
same moment. It is also impossible to express sincere heartfelt
gratitude to another person and not feel like a good person
yourself, because it causes you to feel like a giver rather than
a taker.
It's never too early in life to feel and express gratitude. Here
are four tips to make it happen:
1. Practice Daily Acts of Gratitude
When we talk about distressing and depressing events, our moods
become gloomy. Alternatively, when we recall wonderful and happy
moments, we feel bolstered and uplifted.
Every day, pause and list three things for which you are
thankful and three people to whom you are grateful. If you're
having difficulty with this, do it indirectly by identifying
three things that could be worse about your life.
2. Look at Your Present Through the Eyes of Your Future
Several years ago, a woman walked into my office hunched over
and using a cane. She looked like the witch in Snow White,
except for the radiant grin on her face. I asked her why she was
smiling so glowingly when it was obvious that she had nearly
crippling arthritis. She looked at me and replied, "I was just
thinking how great this cane will look in two years when I am
using a walker."
3. Be Happy in Spite of Unhappy Events
When we're young and emotionally immature, we're happy because
of what goes right. When we grow older and more mature, we can
learn to be happy in spite of what goes wrong.
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There are two steps to accomplishing this. First, after someone
upsets you, don't say or do anything to make the situation
worse. Then, as soon as that irresistible impulse to shoot from
your hip (and shoot yourself in the foot) lessens, start listing
to yourself the things about the situation for which you can
feel grateful.
4. Try a Power Thank You
Unexpressed gratitude is a terrible thing to waste. If you are
feeling grateful to someone, give them a "Power Thank You" to
make their life a little better.
First, thank them specifically for something they did. Next,
recognize and acknowledge the effort it took for them to do it.
Finally, tell them what their actions mean to you personally.
This will help others feel valued and appreciated instead of
taken for granted, and will help you feel better about yourself
and your life.
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Steps to Gratitude
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| 1.
Practice Daily Acts of Gratitude
2. Look at Your Present Through the Eyes of Your Future
3. Be Happy in Spite of
Unhappy Events
4. Try a Power Thank
You
5. Make an effort to
look for the good and try to write down at least on good thing
every day.
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