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THE GOOD KID MYTH
Diane Zamora was an honor student and member of the drill
team who dreamed of becoming an astronaut. David Graham
also excelled in school, ran on the track and
cross-country teams, was a battalion commander in Junior
ROTC and was known and respected for his gentlemanly ways.
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Featuring Dr. Mark
As Reported on:
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"You know how growing up, your mom tells you about the perfect
guy, the perfect gentleman, and there's nobody out there like
that? David was," says a schoolmate. "He was one of the last
cool guys on earth." On the surface, these kids seemed like
saints in training. Yet most likely they were anything but
perfect. "When good kids do bad things, I would argue that
they are not good kids, that their characters are not so
sterling," says Samenow. "The crime for which the teen is
arrested is just the tip of the iceberg. If you had a
videotape of that teen's life, there would be a lot of stuff
he's done that appears to be out of character for which he has
not been caught."
Samenow believes that teens like Graham and Zamora have a
fatal flaw--a skewed psychological profile they were either
born with or that was shaped by their environment that led
them to their grisly crimes . "[These are the type of kids]
who have been uncompromising in their lives," he says. "The
type who did not sit down and talk things out, who faced
adversity by either running from it or punching a hole in the
wall."
Sometimes teens pull outrageous stunts--such as speeding in a
car or egging a friend's house--for thrills. But crimes this
terrible go way beyond schoolboy highjinks, says Samenow.
"If a kid was looking only for excitement, he'd go bungee
jumping," says Samenow. "This type of kid likes the excitement
of controlling others through intimidation, deception or brute
force." TOP
SINS OF THE PARENT
Other experts believe parents shoulder much of the blame when
their children turn to violent crime. "Today's parents, even
in high socio-economic groups, are neglecting their kids by
not being home," says Beverly Hills-based media psychiatrist
Carole Lieberman, M.D.. "Even when they are home, they are
often too busy to convey warmth and attention."
Lacking in parental guidance, "teens are growing up without
being taught compassion or the difference between right and
wrong," Lieberman adds.
Whether fair or not, parents often do receive the blame. Just
look at the infamous Menendez trial, where brothers Lyle and
Erik claimed they shot and killed their wealthy parents in
1989 because their parents sexually and mentally abused them.
(The brothers were found guilty and sentenced to life
imprisonment last year with no hope of parole.) And soccer
player Tabetha Garibay Hoult's attorney cited a rough
childhood and unhappy home life as two of the factors leading
to her participation in the bank robbery.
The responsibility doesn't just stop at the parents, however.
"Years ago, we lived in a community where neighbors watched
out for each other, and if you did something bad, you had to
face your neighbors and the consequences," says Los Angeles
psychiatrist Mark Goulston, M.D.. "But now, with people so
mobile and neighbors less involved, this doesn't apply any
more, so kids can get away with more. The community, an extra
layer of protection against violence, has broken down."
TOP
ERRORS IN JUDGMENT
Teens are also hindered by a distorted sense of reality born
out of inexperience and surging hormones. When you're young,
emotions can easily cloud better judgment and lead you to act
impulsively, according to Bennett Leventhal, M.D., director of
child and adolescent psychiatry at the University of Chicago.
Nowhere is this more evident--or sad--than in the case of a
pair of college freshmen, Brian Peterson Jr. and Amy Grossberg,
both from affluent homes in northern New Jersey. Police say
that the couple, high school sweethearts, killed their baby
boy after Grossberg gave birth in a motel room in Delaware on
November 12 of last year. The motel was a few miles from the
University of Delaware, where Grossberg is a freshman. She and
Peterson are accused of hitting the baby in the head and
stuffing him into a plastic bag, which they had dumped in a
trash can some time before dawn. TOP
"These two teens had no sense that there was any support or
anyone who cared in their lives," says Arleen Kramer Richards,
psychoanalyst and author of Under 18 and Pregnant: What To Do
If This Happens To You Or Someone You Know. "I'm sure,
however, that their parents would have helped them reach a
better resolution than the one they found, and that they would
not have been left in the lurch."
Richards believes that the couple's actions were not
premeditated, but born of panic. "We can't know what was on
their minds, but we can know that they were clearly not
thinking about what the consequences were, or how they would
feel the day after or 10 years from now." David Graham wasn't
thinking clearly either. In his published confession, he
claimed he and Zamora killed Adrianne Jones to restore the
purity of their relationship and to satisfy Zamora's need for
revenge. However, this romantic illusion of a restored union
did not materialize. In its place blossomed guilt and regret.
Graham wrote: "I regret [the murder] now, for never did I
imagine the heartache it would cause my school, my friend's,
Adrianne's family or even my community. I guess I just shut it
all out of my mind in that instant when I convinced myself
that Diane was even worth murder."
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