Dear NICE:

If I can take you at your word, you’re an ETP guy (easy to please) attracted to DTP girls (difficult to please).  There are several reasons why you are drawn to these types:

You like the challenge. 
Love from an ETP girl doesn’t seem that special because they give it to many people.  But love from a DTP one is a real gift.  The problem with trying to get love from a DTP person is that it doesn’t exist.  It’s just a temporary crumb that they’re throwing out at you while they’re loading up on a list of complaints about you. TOP

Ask yourself these questions.  If you can relate to any of them, you're stuck on the challenge and become bored when a relationship is normal. 

1. When I date a girl who is nice or actually is sweet do I treat her the way women usually treat me?

2. Am I a drama addict?  If something isn't going wrong do I think she doesn't need you anymore?

3. If I were my child and a date treated me the way women treat me, what would I tell my child to do?

4. Are you a status seeker?  You choose girls to date because you think your friends, colleagues or co-workers will be impressed by your date's looks, position or wealth, (hint: mature friends will accept any woman you love if they see her treat you well.  They may be impressed at first glance by a trophy, but they will only accept a woman they see enhancing you). TOP

If you are addicted to the challenge, this one is pretty easy to spot and you have lots of company.  Many men and women are addicted to the challenge because they enjoy the hunt and become uncomfortable with the relationship.  To spot such people, ask what his/her longest relationship is.  If he/she never makes it to six months (under 22) or 1 year (over 22) you're dating someone chasing the challenge.

If you are sick of this, to change you'll need to discover what it is that triggers these feelings.  The only way to do this is to pay attention to what you are thinking and feeling when you find yourself attracted to a woman.  Ask your friends what they observe.  They'll tell you if you ask. Then make an effort to date women at first glance you think are "boring". Few people are boring once you get to know them.

You’re still trying to please a DTP parent. 
When you grow up with a DTP mother or father, much of your life can be focused on trying to get their unconditional love and approval.  But as with DTP girls, unconditional love and approval doesn’t exist.  That doesn’t stop you from trying to win it.TOP

You'll know this is your problem if you call your parents whenever you accomplish something and feel hurt because they don't get excited about the accomplishment.  Or they may point out all of the negative aspects for you. It seems you always want their approval but no matter how hard you try or how much you succeed, they never seem to appreciate you.

You’re staying away from the DTP part of you. 
My guess is that you’re not just feeling hurt from these relationships; you’re ticked off. But you may be uncomfortable with that hostile part of you, because you think it makes you a bad person.  So by finding people who are hostile and trying to please them, you get to stay away from those feelings in yourself. TOP

Do yourself a favor.  Seek out other ETP people as girl friends and even guy friends and just say “No thanks” to DTP’s. One way to do this is to try the following exercise.  Next time you’re at a party or club or in a group where you might meet a new girl friend, look at all the one’s who catch your eye.  Then close your eyes for a full 20 seconds (try not to be so obvious or else people will think you’re weird).  Then open your eyes and notice all the girls you never noticed in the first place. 

You’re more likely to find a better fit for you in that second group than amongst the girls you originally noticed. That’s because the ones you first looked at had something familiar about them—their body language, how they held a drink, etc.  What was familiar was that they reminded you of someone from your past that you still have unfinished business. That someone was probably a DTP and your unfinished business was trying to please them.

One more hint, try dating women older than you.  DTP's are much more common in their early twenties when arrogance rules and men are a dime a dozen.  By the time she reaches her early thirties, most women have been humbled a bit, have had their own hearts broken or dealt with their own demons.  Maturity is the great equalizer for both sexes. TOP

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