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Is Terrorism
Encouraging Marriage?
by Dr. Mark
One of the few positive results of
September 11th, 2001 is how this one act of terror jerked an
entire nation and the world out of complacency and
self-centeredness. Though the terrorists claimed to have
killed in the name of God, something completely against the
teachings of most religions, their ultimate mission remains a
complete failure. It was intended to show their beliefs as
righteous. |
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Rather, it reinvigorated a drive toward the Judea-Christian
principles and the foundations that make a country and family
strong. The ideas of family, love, tolerance and
forgiveness. Of fairness, equality and compassion, the
return to basics and the re-emergence of God in our actions
and beliefs as a society. Ninety percent of Americans
believe in God and this horrific action reacquainted most of
us with our beliefs and our reason for being. In finding
this reason, many couples came to the conclusion that life
indeed is too short and too precious to put off the important
decisions and generations, to come will benefit. And
once again, even in the depths of despair, good again conquers
evil and life goes on. |
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Since Sept. 11, more and more couples who were on the fence about taking the plunge into
marriage have made the leap. Here, a look at explanations for this phenomenon:
1. Life is short. At the end of their lives, people regret much more what they
didn't do than what they did. Perhaps the threats of prolonged war and continued terrorism
and bio-terrorism have sped up the marriage clock.
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2. The "It could have been me" hypnotic trance. In the past, when we've
heard awful news from other countries -- or even from the inner cities of America -- we've
been able to reassure ourselves with thoughts such as "It will never happen to
me." But since Sept. 11, every American has lost that protective envelope. In fact,
many of us seem to be in danger of overreacting in the other direction. We think that if
plane crashes and anthrax infections are happening to people like ourselves, they are
certainly going to befall us next.
3. Fear of commitment pales next to fear of dying alone. Inside most people who are
afraid to commit to marriage is a fear of becoming trapped in an unhappy relationship from
which they won't be able to extricate themselves. However, the fear being in an unhappy
relationship is often less powerful than the fear of dying alone or even of being alone in
the face danger. TOP
4. Neurotic anxiety is overpowered by real fear. Just as many
of our daily worries from before Sept. 11 have been trivialized and pushed aside by that
day's events, so too have many of our concerns about and love relationships. Settling for
a less-than-perfect mate seems less important than having someone to hold our hand as we
walk through this scary new world.
5. "No dying man wishes he had spent more time at the office." Paul
Tsongas, the late presidential candidate from Massachusetts, was one of the first people
to espouse this adage. Even though we are not imminently in danger of death, many of us
are re-evaluating our values and realizing that it's not how much money or power we have
that's important, but who we've loved -- and been loved by -- that matter most
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