COUPLES SEXUAL FITNEESS

Patience, a sense of humor and a lack of embarrassment are required to find and train the Kegel.

Learning to find this muscle is very difficult. Only  1/3 of women are able to (or contract incorrect muscles such as the Iliococcygeus).  Many can only contract it to a very small degree.  The Kegel feels like strong miniature bicep muscle, the size of a man's middle finger, beneath the vaginal wall surrounded by a thin sheath of cellophane. You will feel this when you press on the wall.  You will have to seek it out as it is not obvious.. If you are having a hard time finding the muscle, locate another muscle inside that you have control of.  This is your starting point:  TOP

See Graphic of External Genitalia for location of Vagina.  See Graphic of Female Reproductive Organs for general location of the Kegel muscle.

• Contract this muscle and the muscles around it until you are actually contracting the Kegel.  You'll know you've hit the Kegel muscle when you feel flexing at the top of your vagina, close to the front of the body.  This is where it is attached to the pubic bone.  Another area you may isolate it is at the bottom of the vagina close to the back of your body.

• To find the place where the contraction will be at for the front or the “top” of the vagina insert the index finger only to the second joint and pass the tip of the finger on the side of the wall about 1 cm (or until a muscle is felt).

• Follow this muscle “down”  with your finger for a short distance almost to the urethra (where you urinate). 

• This may feel like a thin sheath or a large muscle almost as thick as a finger.  If you feel contraction you have just found your Kegel muscle. TOP

If you still have a hard time contracting this muscle, you can also find contractions close to the back of the body.  To do this, you need to play proctologist.

Insert the finger deeply into the rectum. The Kegel can be found most easily close to the “butt-bone” (oscoccsyn) as this area has the most dramatic movement. Here you will feel the contractions or pinpoint the muscle so you can learn how to contract it.

Still can't find it? Don’t worry. Nearly one third of women either can’t contract it or can only do so to a very small degree. You may need your doctor to help you locate it (see paragraph below about the Perineometer).  But let's try one last approach.

With your finger still inserted in your anus, contract your anus; use a little bit of pressure until you are able to pull the muscle against your finger.  It will feel like a large finger on the other side of the wall. TOP

Kegel Confusion:

A general mistake is to use unrelated muscles (abdominal, gluteal, orintroital regions) as the Kegel muscle. Many women errantly believe they are exercising the Kegel when in fact they are flexing the surrounding muscles.  Complaints of fatigue, aching muscles of the back and abdomen or nervous irritability following exercises are usually due to unnecessary use of extraneous or non-Kegel muscles.

Resistive exercise the
muscle and surrounding muscles

This is exactly what it sounds like, tension against an object.  Most doctors whom practice or specialize in sexual health will have a device called a Perineometer.  A Perineometer measures the strength of the Kegel muscle by reading the Millimeters Mercury (mm).  This is the same manner that a blood pressure cuff registers your current blood pressure. 

The Definition of the Perineometer from Taber’s Cyclopedic Medical Dictionary 17^th Edition is:

"Perineometer:  (Is an) apparatus for measuring pressure or force that is produced in the vagina when Pubococcygeus (Kegel) and levator ani muscles are contracted voluntarily."

This device shows the amount of pressure she exerts with her Kegel muscles and helps her to monitor her progress in strengthening it.

Most people don’t have access to a Perineometer and have to rely on the old fashion way called “digitizing”. This means your finger (or your partner's finger) acts as the Perineometer and feels the amount pressure that is being exerted.  Strengthening the Kegel muscles is really a couple's activity.  Her partner is in a better position to monitor and help than she ever could be alone so testing and strengthening the Kegel can truly be a dual exercise between and intimate man and woman. This is also one exercise that really does enhance the sexual satisfaction of both so it is worth it to attack this issue together.  TOP

Once you have found the muscles involved in contraction it is recommended that you flex the Kegel muscle several times a day between 10 and 20 reps.  It's something a woman can do anywhere because no one will know you're doing it but you. Check your progress periodically by during your annual exam with your doctor's Perineometer or with your partner's handy digitizer.  With practice, flexing the Kegel will become second nature during sex lessening difficulties with orgasm or the pain caused by a weak muscle.

What Happens When the Kegel Muscles are Weak?

Dysfunction or relaxation of the Kegel muscle can also lead to or worsen:

• Urinary stress incontinence

• Cystocele

• Prolapse of the uterus (a downward tilt to the uterus.)

• Decreased sexual interest. TOP

What About All Those Weights for Kegel Exercises?

As you may or may not have noticed the topic of Kegel weights and other accessories like Ben Wa Balls.  This was intentional. The only device that I did mention was the Perineometer. Why did I skip all of the aids? Because they do not work to strengthen just the Kegel muscle.  In fact, if this is your objective, these products will reverse your progress. Here is the reason why.

When you start to add weight or anything that increases the amount of strength required to do Kegel exercises, you increase the use of neighboring muscles including:

• Compressor Urethra

• Iliococcygeus

• Bulbocavernosus

• Ishiocavernosus

• Superficial Transverse Perineal

• Deep Transverse Perineal

• Gluteus

Most people believe that the more muscles you work, the better. Not with Kegels. Using weights significantly increases the strength of the larger muscles and shifts the workout away from the Kegel muscles.  Using weights for Kegel exercises undermines your efforts to strengthen the muscle and will not produce the desired effect.  TOP

How the weights work:

The weights are generally you’ll a very small amount like 10 to 30 grams but you can get them up to 10 POUNDS!!!  Now that’s like sticking your hand into a trash compactor and likely only a horse can handle that.  The strength comes from the surrounding muscles and allows the “Kegel” muscle to become weaker and weaker eventually becoming absolutely useless. Since these supporting muscles cannot do the work of the Kegel muscle you can start to experience problems like was said earlier.

Can Men do Kegel Exercises?

For the male, he is capable of doing this exercise.  He just needs to first locate this muscle (just like the female).

How does he find this muscle? Just like the female he “digitizes” by inserting his finger into his rectum the male can perform the same techniques to isolate and to flex the muscle.  Unlike the female, strengthening this muscle in the man will not enhance heterosexual love making experiences.  <END> Print

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