How do I Meet Someone

if I'm Over 30?

Over the next couple of months, Couples Company is going to look at how people over thirty meet someone and begin dating.  Unlike college, finding other singles that are healthy mentally and relationship material requires some effort.  This issue we are looking at Dating Clubs and Seminar Groups.

If you are over 30, meeting other people can be pretty difficult, especially if you are looking for dating material.  The Top three methods over thirty singles use to find Mr. or Mrs. Right today are:

  1. The Internet
  2. Friends & Family
  3. Work & Work Related Functions

And the fourth method gaining in popularity is Single's Clubs.  These can range from impromptu groups like Beverly Hill's Bachelor and Spinster club, a group of thirty-something professionals that throw parties together and club hop as a group to organizations built around common experiences like the Ivy League Singles.  Some have specific requirements and are not always exclusive to singles like the Skyliners where men must be 6'2" and women at least 5'10" to join.  Most major churches have singles groups and checking with your Alumni Association usually can put you in touch with others in singlehood.

Another option is groups like Seminars for Singles that mix socializing and improving relationship skills together.  This is the best option for those coming off a divorce or difficult breakup because you're surrounded by others dealing with similar issues, and they are not dwelling on them. People join relationship skills groups because they don't want to make the same mistake twice and they want to meet others whom put their relationship first.  Unlike some of the other singles groups not using education, the majority are not looking for a fling.  Both men and women are focused on finding and creating solid relationships.  Most major cities have groups like Seminar for Singles, which is located in Los Angeles.

There are a variety of reasons adults are afraid to try singles groups, whether it be stigma, believing that only ugly people or losers join.  This is hardly the case.  So what does prevent people like you from trying this options?  We asked the Seminars for Singles group to give us the top ten reasons they had prior to joining that postponed their relationship life longer than needed.

The Top 10 Reasons Singles Don’t Enjoy Singles' Events

List Developed by "Seminars For Singles,"

  1. A belief that it’s hard to meet people (usually coupled with – not knowing what to say).
  2. Always hoping to meet "The One" (and then they don’t).
  3. Shyness or the fear of approaching someone and then feeling incompetent, rejected or publicly humiliated.
  4. Staying in your comfort zone – and acting unapproachable.
  5. Fear of not being able to get away from someone whose boring, self-centered or pushy.
  6. Taking it too seriously instead of just enjoying the event as much as possible.
  7. Carrying baggage, a negative self image or negative attitude (i.e., "These people don’t want to meet me!")
  8. Lack of social skills and no effort to grow or gain social skills.
  9. The event itself doesn’t work – too loud, too many people, poor lighting or bad food.
  10. Finally, a failure to show up! You can’t enjoy singles events if your not ever going to singles events!

If any of these excuses are keeping you from trying dating groups, take heart.  You're not alone, which means once you get over the fear and try it, you'll probably like it...and you just might meet that person you've been looking for all your life!

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