How to Get a Man to the Altar

Without Going to Bed With Him First!

by Tom McKnight

OK, so maybe this article isn’t for everybody. For some women, “putting out” just isn’t an issue for them. Maybe it isn’t for you, either. But if you are tired of the game and really want the promise of love within a covenant, keep reading.

OK, so maybe this article isn’t for everybody. For some women, “putting out” just isn’t an issue for them. Maybe it isn’t for you, either. But if you are tired of the game and really want the promise of love within a covenant, keep reading.

For some women now reading these words putting out is a big issue. Secretly, they’ve wished there was some way around it, but have ultimately surrendered to what appears to be an unrelenting social custom of our day. There is incredibly strong peer pressure out there assuring you that “there is no other way”. There are a lot of women out there who really would like to save the heavy artillery for marriage, but they think it’s against the rules so they play a pretending game and it tears them apart.

A whole slew of women find they don’t really want to have to lay down their personal values and integrity time after time before they’re married. But what else can they do? These women would like to really know…is it truly possible to catch a man and marry him, in this day and age, without having to go to bed with him first? Can a woman really still win the man she wants, without having to compromise her integrity by ignoring the voice inside her when it says, “I just don’t feel right doing it this way!” TOP

The answer is a resounding, “Yes, more than you can begin to imagine!” Not only can you capture a man’s heart without having to sell your soul for the privilege, but the confidence that emanates from you when you determine to be true to yourself in this regard actually empowers you in your ability to get him to commit!!

In fact, the truth is, your ability to mesmerize the man you want is magnified when you hold out to the very end in refusing to bestow marital privileges until…well…marriage! You hold the winning hand, if you just refuse to be bluffed out of it.

Why, then, do so many women seem to believe that they don’t have any choice in the matter? Why do so many think that, if they ever hope to get married, that going to bed with the man first is inescapable?

The Great Lie and Why Men Deceive

Now, as a man, I can be tried for treason for what I am about to say, but let the truth be told. There is a lie – a GREAT LIE – that has been drummed up and perpetuated in our world that if a woman doesn’t go to bed with a man she loves then she will lose her chance to win his love in return. This is absolutely false, but men have succeeded for the most part in convincing women that it is true. TOP

It is a MYTH that if a woman doesn’t break down and give a man sex before marriage that she won’t be able to get him to fall in love with her, or to marry her. This is a BLATANT FALSEHOOD.

This GREAT LIE is the result of a silent conspiracy intended to suppress women’s independence and keep them subject to men’s desires for immediate physical gratification. It does not have as its object the intention to secure for a woman a permanent and lasting relationship. Still, she is allowed to think that this improves her chances of winning a man’s heart in order to keep her playing the game and servicing the man’s physical needs as long as possible.

Let’s face facts. Men and women are different in some fundamental ways regarding their primary drives and motivations. Women yearn more for emotional nurturance while men carry the burden of an obsessively strong, persistent drive for sex. Someone has insightfully pointed out that “a woman wants one man to satisfy her every need, while a man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.”

The natural man is a philanderer. His animal nature is to behave like a beast and have sex as often and with as many different women as he can. Until he conquers this savage beast within, he remains a prisoner to animal instincts – an addict to sex who will lie, lie, and lie again to get his fix. Unless a woman understands and comes to grips with this fact, she is destined to become victim to those lies. TOP

Some men would accuse me of breaking the “code” of my own gender by openly telling you this, but I’m not here to uphold an immoral code I don’t believe in. I believe that in order for men to be truly happy, they must eventually enter a win/win relationship that includes exchanging a committed marital vow in return for the sexual affection bestowed. I believe in paying for what I get, emotionally speaking. This is not only best for the woman, in the long run it is best for the man as well.

Those men who “cheat” a woman of her rightful due in this regard will learn in due course that they have only been cheating themselves. When a man uses a woman for sex, always pretending to leave the door open to marriage (just enough to keep her hoping), it is never win/win. It is actually win/lose. And if win/lose, then ultimately it will be lose/lose – even for him.

Woman yearns mostly for love and commitment. Man primarily desires sex. The fair tradeoff is: sex in a loving and committed marriage. Women traditionally have had a strong bargaining chip when coming to the negotiating table. But somewhere over the last century, men have succeeded in bluffing women out of their strong position. Most women don’t know how powerful they really are, if they just exercise their determination in this regard. TOP

Man has stood eyeball to eyeball to woman…and she has blinked!! It was a bluff on his part – it’s always been a bluff – and the woman has fallen for it. The bluff is that if a woman doesn’t go to bed with a man if she loves him then she will lose her chance to win his love in return.

In actuality, men prefer strong women who can resist them and say no. Men need strong women who can say no. Admittedly this paradox is frustrating to a man, because he is also fighting a sexual urge that is both constant and strong all the time. But emotional and spiritual growth never was easy, and a permissive woman denies him this opportunity to progress.

How to Get a Man to the Altar Without Going to Bed With Him First! Part 2