Attracting the Love You Want

You’ve heard it before, and I’m here to tell you again; you cannot attract love into your life until you feel love for yourself.  The worst thing you can do if you’re feeling lonely and desperate is to start dating.  You will attract all the wrong kinds of partners for all the wrong reasons. So before you venture out, or venture back into the world of online dating, take some time to revitalize yourself.  If you’re coming out of a bad relationship, take some time for you before you begin dating again.  

When you’re ready to open your heart and mind to the possibilities of attracting the right partner, you might be amazed at what will happen. Visualizing yourself with the right partner is a great first step.  It may seem silly, but experts have gone on and on about the benefits to daydreaming.  Visualizing is different from daydreaming however.  You need to be crystal clear about your goals and what you’re looking for in another person.  Utilizing all you’ve learned from past relationships and past mistakes, you need to feel ready to move forward, put the past behind you, and find yourself a healthy and loving relationship.

If you find you’ve been attracting the same type of person over and over again, you will need to evaluate why.  Sometimes seeing a professional counselor or therapist can help you determine the reason.  But other times, you can track it yourself and figure out what it is you needed in your life to continually seek out unavailable partners. Once you have unlocked the door to this pattern, you will understand yourself better and resolve not to let history repeat itself.

Consider writing a list of traits you want your ultimate partner to have.  It doesn’t need to be a laundry list of physical characteristics, but in order to attract the type of partner you want you need to be absolutely clear.  So a list makes sense.  You can write things like honest, kind, sincere, affectionate and humorous.  You should try to be as specific as possible and write as many things as you can think of.  Once you’ve finished your list, put it away and forget about it.  I’ve known many people who have kept such a list and they are astounded when they meet the right one who possesses quite a few of the characteristics they have been looking for.

Another thing you might consider is to stop looking and simply be happy with the life you have now.  You may have heard the adage “you will find love when you stop looking for it.”   This is often true.  Looking too hard for love brings out the neediness and desperation inside you.  If you want to be attractive to potential partners, let that all go.  Just enjoy the life you have now because that is attractive and will attract others to you.