Apathetic Loved One?

How to Turn the Tables & Make Him/Her Burn with Desire for You!!

by Thomas McKnight

Years ago there was a hit song by Bonnie Raitt called “I Can’t Make You Love Me”. In one of the most poignant songs about unrequited love that I have ever heard, Raitt both wrote and sang a verbal picture of a one-sided relationship going nowhere fast.

While the song distinguishes itself from the crowd because of its able and elegant expression, the story it tells could be each of us at one time or another. It relates the account of a young person, hopelessly in love with another, and their final realization that the person they’re involved with is never going to love them back.

As the song begins, the depressed person describes the internal conversation going on inside her head. She has finally made up her mind. She intends for this to be their last night together. She admits the truth to herself now, at last. Even though her loved one says the right words to keep her on the string, it’s clear he doesn’t really feel any love behind them.

In her own mind, she is begging him not to patronize her anymore. Don’t lie to her anymore, giving her false hopes. Just lay down and hold her this one last time, she silently pleads. And then at last, “when morning comes”, she vows to herself, she’ll “give up this fight”.

If you allow yourself to empathize too much with the song, it actually brings tears to your eyes when you hear her say of their last encounter, “I’ll feel the power, but you won’t…no, you won’t”. The power she refers to, of course, is the overwhelming intensity of desire – or PASSION – that she is feeling and which he does not.

The true highlight of the song – and the hook, though, comes in the chorus when she sings:

“‘Cause I can’t make you love me if you don’t…You can’t make your heart feel something it won’t…”

These words reflect the utter despair of every failed relationship since the world first began. They share the conclusions every heart-broken soul has finally been driven to throughout civilized history: that ultimately there is nothing a person can do to make the One You Want love you. It either is or it isn’t, but you can’t affect the outcome. We are all victims of circumstance. At least, that’s what most people have concluded.

But their conclusion is wrong!

There Is Something You Can Do

Though masses of humanity have never discovered it, there is a secret key to make the One You Want love you, after all. It is somewhat hidden, but it exists. And as you will learn before this article ends, the secret is that you make someone love you not by external force, but by applying good psychology (some say “reverse psychology”) in such a way that the one you are trying to win becomes motivated from within him or herself to want you – even to want you desperately!

Aesop told a story over twenty-five hundred years ago that is timeless in its lesson to us about the power of indirect persuasion, as opposed to coercive and manipulative force. It is the fable of “the Wind and the Sun”.

In this tale the Wind and the Sun were debating which of them was the mightiest. Suddenly they saw a man walking down the road and the Sun proclaimed, “I know how we can settle this. Whoever can persuade the traveler to remove his coat first shall be acknowledged as the most powerful. You may go first.”

The Sun then took his place behind a cloud while the Wind set about to blow as hard as it could upon the unsuspecting subject of their test. But the more the Wind tried to get the man to remove his coat by raising a huge noise and trying to actually blow it off of him, the tighter the man held to the coat and wrapped it around himself. At last, exhausted, the Wind acknowledged the hopelessness of his efforts.

The Sun then came out and, without so much as a whisper of his intentions, simply shined upon the unsuspecting man, who soon found that he had no need of his cloak any longer…and took it off!

Likewise, in your efforts to persuade the One You Want to fall in love with you, the less you appear to be trying to persuade him or her, the better!

Believe it or not, the one you want does need your help to raise their sense of desperate desire for you. He or she is powerless to do your job of winning him or herself over for you. You have to take responsibility in this area.

In this sense, Raitt’s song is accurate: the person you are pursuing “can’t make their own heart feel something it won’t.” But there’s a very good reason for this. As an equal partner with someone for a lifetime, you have to bring something of value to the table! You must be the one who holds the key to turn on their interest, their desire, their passion, and to inspire them! This is as it should be! You are, after all, applying for the position as their “helpmate”.

But in trying to win them, you must not act desperate in the attempt. You must appear independent and just as happy to go on without them, as with them.

Sometimes people fall into a trap of blaming the One They Want for not being a little more openhearted and for not giving them more of a chance. The truth, however, is that in the final analysis everyone has an equal chance to try and win someone’s heart. If things aren’t working out, it isn’t the failure of the One You Want. It’s simply your failure to turn them on, emotionally! You’re failing the test, is all. The usual reason people fail at this is simply because they don’t know any better. At least that’s been my experience. But with a little guidance, that can all change and you can inspire your love object to great heights of passionate interest if you wish!

Apathetic Loved One? Part 2