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He is the brother of a close friend. A month after we
met I departed on business for 3 months abroad. Even with the
separation, we developed a close relationship during the month
we dated; he introduced me to his parents. We spent a lot of
time together and he expressed his desire to wait for my
return and even suggested we meet before my return for two
weeks on holiday. During our separation he talked about
future, family...and that he loved me. Throughout the three
months he phoned me three times a week and via email daily we
corresponded. During all these months, he was always loving
and caring. I fully trusted him. Two weeks before our meeting
(two months and a half later) he asked me to book a flight to
meet up for a holiday (just about the end of my stay abroad).
A week before meeting him, he phoned saying that he did not
wish to meet up, that he had been deluding himself (two days
before this call, he was saying how much he missed me and was
longing to be together). I was shocked and devastated at such
a sudden and unexpected reaction, I could not understand what
happened so suddenly to him. I was left with a non-refundable
ticket and without explanation. He never apologized
after my return of offered an explanation. Rather he said
'It was unfortunate that I had to leave when I did. Still
that's life'.
The manner by which he abandoned me is unacceptable and
insensitive. His words blame me. Had I not left the relationship, would
it have survived? Now I
feel that I should have never left, even if by not leaving I
would sacrifice my own professional achievement.
I have been trying to understand what truly happened. I
cannot find a logical explanation. His brother won't help me
understand what really happened. After my return, the man I
had considered a close friend never mentioned anything
regarding his brother and me. His attitude remained evasive
like that of his brother. He treats the situation as if
his brother and I never met or dated. I have asked him for an
explanation, but receive only defensive gibberish. He
maintains he knows nothing, yet I know they are close.
I would sincerely appreciate any clarity or objectivity you
can shed on this situation. I feel unfairly treated and deeply
saddened. It is difficult to move on in peace. His
behavior is beyond my rational understanding. What happened
with my boyfriend that caused him to change in such a sudden
way?
Many thanks for your attention and time.
Eve, 35 (F)
London, United Kingdom (England)
Dating 4 months
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