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2. Protect yourself and your children.
The best way to do this is to tell the truth to
family, friends, your minister, your doctor, your therapist,
your co-workers, one of the hotlines listed below, the police
and anyone else who will listen. There is no need for you to
be ashamed, but there is an urgent need for you to get
help. If it seems that noone is listening, consider that you
might not be telling the whole truth -- battered spouses have
a tendency to downplay and make excuses for the abuse. The
best protection for you and your children is for your abuser's
behavior to become public knowledge. The vast majority of
abusers are cowards, who only prey on dependent, defenseless
people. They like to believe they are in control, and they
aren't as likely to lose control before witnesses.
3. Once you have been physically abused, do not be alone
with the abuser again.
This is another reason to tell everyone you know. You
either need a place to go, or someone (perhaps several people)
to stay with you until you are safe. You may also need
financial help.
4. If you are hit, call the police (911).
They respond much better now than they used to, and the
law is now on your side. When they come, press charges.
Do not make excuses to yourself or anyone else. If your
abuser gets away with it even once, he or she will get more
abusive. Do not listen to pleas for sympathy, understanding
or forgiveness. You can forgive the abuser after he or
she has gotten help, and only after you and your
children are safe.
5. If injured, get medical help.
Tell the doctors and nurses the truth about how it
happened.
6. File a restraining order.
Volunteers at the police department will help you fill it
out. With a restraining order, you can call the police as
soon as the abuser gets close to you or your home. Without
one, the police need evidence of the abuse to arrest anyone.
7. Attend Al-Anon meetings.
You will learn a lot of good information that will help
you avoid being someone else's victim.
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