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Getting your
Partner to Open
Up:
Continued....
When you are much more verbal than your partner, you
can dominate the conversation without realizing it, so slow down and speak only a sentence
or two at a time.
Part of dating is to discover each
others' rhythms, habits and preferences. Instead of trying to get your partner to
communicate the way you'd like to, try learning how your partner likes to converse.
Good Luck!
Dr. Tina
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Tips for Getting Your Partner to Open Up
Action Plan
-
Don't criticize or complain. If
you say she "never shares her feelings" she will feel even less willing to talk.
-
Don't pressure your partner to
talk. It will only create anxiety and shut the conversation down.
-
Do leave plenty of time for an answer.
After you make a statement or ask a question, be silent and wait for a response. Your
partner may be struggling to get her thoughts together, and she may be much slower at
it than you are.
-
Do create time when there's nothing to
do but talk to each other: driving together in the car for a while, sitting on the sofa
with the TV turned off, hanging out on the porch or the beach, sitting together over
coffee.
-
Do welcome silence. Give your partner
the room and the time to feel inspired to talk. If you're too busy, that time will never
come. If the TV or radio is always on, talking doesn't seem necessary.
-
Make a quiet space for the two of you.
Do listen!!! Show your partner you're interested in whatever he or she says.
Don't talk about your own reaction or feelings. Instead, respond directly to
what was said or say "tell me more".
-
Do be aware of non-verbal communication.
Watch your partner's facial expressions and body language, then interpret them back.
"You look sad (pleased, worried, angry, hurt) - is that how you feel right now?"
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