Different interests, opinions, attitudes and ideas will keep
things fresh and alive between you. If your date does not
become defensive or threatened by your differences, you can
be interesting to each other for a long time.
6. Openness: Discloses Self
The whole point of dating, as we said
before, is to get to know each other. While you both may want
to take a little time before disclosing too much, your date
should be comfortable talking about him or herself, and it
should not be like tooth pulling to find out what you need to
know.
7. A Together Life:
Job, Friends, Family Relationships, Interests
A date who has a full, interesting life
you would want to be a part of is more likely to be a healthy,
balanced person. While it’s important to have some relaxation
time, and time to meditate or think, a life that includes a
good career, hobbies or sports, community service and friends
and/or family is reassurance that your date is motivated,
focused and able to relate.
TOP
8. Intelligence
Your date doesn’t need to be a member of
Mensa or a mathematical genius, but look for enough
intelligence that you can respect and admire each other.
There are several kinds of intelligence, from school learning
to independent education by reading, working, traveling, and
life experiences.
An “airhead” who looks good and may be
fun to play with, will not keep you interested for long. A
date who is not interested in learning and growing
intellectually may not be able to keep up over the long haul.
9. Modesty,
Humility, Ego (In Balance)
As you learn about this new person you’re
dating, observe his or her character and personality for signs
of a balanced sense of self. If your date can keep success
and failure in perspective, admit personal shortcomings, and
rise above disappointments and losses, he or she does have a
balanced personality, and the kind of resilience that can
travel through life’s highs and lows and keep it all in
perspective. TOP
10. Emotionally
Mature
While it’s fun and charming to be able to
be childlike when in a playful mood, it’s essential to be an
adult whenever necessary.
A date who is responsible,
self-regulating, emotionally responsive, motivated, and in
control of his or her impulses, is capable of being a
supportive, fully participating partner, no matter what joys
and sorrows, successes and failures you may face in the course
of a lifetime.
11. Healthy History
of Relationships
(Not Perfect, Just Normal)
Of course, if both of you are dating
again, your relationship history will probably not be
perfect. What counts is whether your date has learned from
the problems, confronted his or her own weaknesses and
shortcomings, and grown as a result of the setbacks.
If your date is willing to talk openly
about his or her past relationships, and can explain what went
wrong and how he or she is learning to correct the problems,
the difficulties in past relationships can be an asset rather
than a liability. If your date expresses a willingness to
seek counseling in the event that problems should occur, score
that in his or her favor.
Remember, a smart date will be watching
for the same characteristics in you. To do well in a
relationship, learn to be the partner you would like to be.
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