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If your dating experience lasts a while
with this person, you will hopefully have an opportunity to
disagree, to solve some problems, and to spend enough time
together, in enough different situations, to figure out
whether your relationship will work.
You’d think the positive signs in a date
would be obvious, but with all the excitement, the most
important clues can be overlooked. What makes for a great
date may not be all you need for a great relationship. This
checklist of positive signs will help you evaluate your date
in a realistic manner. If you get a lot of these positives,
this date might be a good choice for marriage.
1. Sense of Humor
Of all the characteristics that are
essential for getting through life successfully, a sense of
humor has to be in the top ten. But, what kind of a sense of
humor?
Joking at someone else’s expense or at
inappropriate times can be counter-productive. Using jokes to
avoid taking responsibility for one’s behavior can prevent you
from solving problems. The sense of humor you’re looking for
is the generous, positive kind that makes life more fun and
the tough times easier.
If your date can make your laugh, and
lift your spirits, that talent may help you through some
future difficulties.
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2. Cares What You
Think
A date who asks for and listens to your
opinions and feelings, and better yet, who remembers what you
say and builds on it later, and who responds with empathy,
sincerity and caring, is someone you can communicate with and
therefore, more likely to be able to form a partnership with
you.
If you pay attention, you can quickly
notice the difference between the <ital> appearance <ital> of
caring and real caring. If your relationship is successful,
you’ll have years of talking to each other, so find someone
who is interesting to talk to and also interested in talking
with you. Your date should be able to carry on an interesting
discussion on a variety of topics, and at least show interest,
even if the topic is not something he or she is familiar with.
3. Has An Opinion,
Too
A truly good conversationalist not only
listens to your words and responds, but also has ideas and
opinions. Your date should not hesitate to disagree with you
or to bring up new topics.
4. Can Work Things
out with You
Recent research shows that the single
most important quality which determines whether a relationship
can succeed is how well the couple solves problems.
If you have a disagreement while dating,
welcome it as an opportunity to see how well the two of work
it out together. If you can discuss your differences without
becoming defensive or sarcastic, and you can listen to each
other and work together toward a solution, your relationship
has an excellent chance.
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5. Accepts Who You
Are
A popular book asserts that “Men are from Mars, and Women are
from Venus”, but I think it’s more that we’re all from
different planets. You and your date are unique, special and
individual and need to be able to understand each other, and
accept that you’ll perceive things very differently.
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