Surviving the Psychological Effects of Unemployment

By Laura D Lewis                                                 

Excerpt from: Laid Off Now What

"The 'how' thinker gets problems solved effectively because he wastes no time with futile 'ifs'."

--Norman Vincent Pearle

The hardest part about being unemployed, especially if you are the type of person who does not like to sit idle, is dealing the games your mind will play.  Most of us place a high level of esteem on our job title.  We describe ourselves as Lawyers, Directors, or Nurses.  We describe others by what they do.  So what happens when this main element of your identity is suddenly gone?  What do you do when the panic sets in and suddenly it looks like you may lose everything?

Real names are not used in the personal experiences told below, but the stories and facts are true

The best way to answer these questions is to look at how other people have survived and prospered from a job loss.  You are not alone and you will get through this.  Below we'll look at three stories of people who have lost their jobs, gone through hell in some cases and ultimately prevailed. They haven't beaten the odds.   They've just beaten the self-doubts and faced their fears.  

Fired to Freelance

People have different reactions to the news they are suddenly unemployed.   For some, the first feeling is relief.  Dawn, a radio salesperson in a major market had been with the station for over a year when she finally got fired.

"It was the happiest day of my life!" she explains.  "I had wanted to quit for four months, but I couldn't find another company I wanted to work for in the city and I was ready for a change of location.  The problem was, I didn't have any savings and I couldn't afford to just quit with no income.  My boss was a psychological nightmare in high heels and her husband was the station manager.  I had no recourse but to get fired so I'd be eligible for unemployment while I looked to relocate.  

For four months she tried to get me to quit, telling me daily what horrible person I was and how no one liked me. Then she started taking accounts away from me and forcing me into a negative income.  I had watched her do this to six other people before me.   She always had to have a project.  Finally, I wrote some derogatory remarks about her in my account notes of another account she was taking away.  Then she fired me.  Eighteen months later I found out the entire sales staff walked into her office and forced her to quit.  I couldn't help but smile when I heard the news."

 

Fired: Homeless to Ph.D.

For others, unemployment can be devastating.  John worked in an Adult Foster Home, taking care of elderly men with Alzheimer's, while he worked on his degree.  He was paid a small salary and room and board.

"Nightmare," he states. "Is the only way to describe this situation.  It was during finals week and I had just had surgery the week before on my appendix.  I knew the owner's son had a drug problem with synthetic amphetamines.  I believe the street term is Crank, but I chose to ignore it.  I needed the roof and the money.  The people we took care of were on welfare so the state conducted regular inspections.  On one inspection, they found the owner's son's pharmacy.  We shared a bedroom.  I was blamed for the drugs and immediately dismissed when I returned back from classes.  Had the son been blamed, the home would have lost its license. 

 

That night my girlfriend of six months dumped me too. 

I found myself without a home, money or my belongings and lived in my car for the next three weeks while I used the University's facilities to shower.  I was so distraught and stressed, I actually failed the final in my area of expertise.  My mind went completely blank and I couldn't answer a single question. I just stared at the page. Years later, I did turn the owners in to the state welfare department, but I'm the only person I know who was homeless for three weeks and that experience has profoundly effected me to this day."

From Layoff to CEO

In some ways, these stories are extremes.  In others, they are quite ordinary.  Losing a job is a very personal experience and the effect it takes on each financially and psychologically can range from non-existent to a person's worst nightmare. It can also be the catalyst of major, positive change.

Jim worked for a major Public Relations Agency when the economy suddenly turned south. He was one of fifteen laid off to cut expenses.

"I had only been out of college for three years when it happened," he recalls.  "That young, it never occurred to me I may be laid off.  Now I know that when the economy becomes sluggish, it's generally the marketing and public relations budgets that get cut.  Had I known that, I may have seen it coming.  But I didn't. 

It was 1994 and the Internet was just beginning to become a press subject.  I saw an opportunity and joined forces with a co-worker and we formed one of the first online advertising and public relation's agencies devoted to guerilla marketing and online direct marketing. We had no money so people paid us up front. It was tough at first, but today, I can't imagine working for anyone else.  Losing my job was the best thing that could have happened."

All three people profiled above experienced losing their jobs and all three went on to better and more successful careers.  But it didn't mean they didn't go through hard times to get there. 

Dawn had to sell her computer, music CD's and 250 volume video collection to make the rent and move herself 1,000 miles to her new employer.  Her credit also suffered a few late payments and she had to move into a low rent area for eight months, which resulted in a burglary and an uncomfortable living situation. She was unemployed for 100 days before landing a job at a prestigious company. Seven years later, she is happily self-employed.  

John lived in his car for three weeks and ended up at the YMCA for a month with the help of student assistance at his University.  The sole piece of property he still had besides his clothing and books, his 10-inch TV, was stolen while he was out looking for a job.  He dropped out of school for one semester and moved back home with his parents for three months while he looked for a job that would allow him to go to night school for two years and rebuild his savings.  He was unemployed for 97 days and used Consumer Credit Counseling to become debt free. It took two years.  Fifteen years later he is a successful activist working with youth in crisis.

Jim lived on his credit cards and savings for the first two months getting his agency off the ground and moved in with his business partner and quit smoking to save expenses.  It took two months to get their first client.  Seven years later, he has since bought out his partner and is now the CEO of a thriving specialty agency which he sold in 2002.

So why the stories?  If you've been laid off, fired, quit under duress or suddenly find yourself without income, no doubt you are beginning to play the "What if" game.  What if I lose my car?  What if I can't feed my family?  What if we lose our home?  What if...

This game can cause extreme anxiety and suck all of your initiative out and leave you without a will to go on.  It's called future tripping, worrying about what might happen instead of attending to what is real.   

John lost his home and everything he had the day he was fired.  Yet he survived and ultimately prevailed. He discovered through his misfortune a need in the community and made it his life's work. 

"I look back now on being homeless," John states.  "And it still effects me. It seems worse thinking back on it than I remember when I was in it.  At the time, I couldn't afford to feel what was happening.  My survival instincts took over and I did what was necessary." 

Dawn had to sell her prized possessions but was able to replace most within a year's time and found herself making three times as much money as before. 

"Selling my computer was the hardest thing I ever did," Dawn admits.  "I love to write and I used my computer for my job and for freelance.  Back in 1995, most companies didn't give salespeople computers.   You had to buy your own.  A year later I paid cash for a brand new top of the line laptop that I still use today.  As far as the garage experience? It makes great copy if I ever become famous!"

Jim took a chance and turned a negative situation into a major accomplishment in his life.  All three attribute their ability to turn everything around to positive thinking, focusing on the moment and doing what has to be done.

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The above is an abbreviated version of this information in the book Laid Off Now What.  Want more?

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