Real names are not used in the personal experiences told below, but the stories and facts are true

The best way to answer these questions is to look at how other people have survived and prospered from a job loss.  You are not alone and you will get through this.  Below we'll look at three stories of people who have lost their jobs, gone through hell in some cases and ultimately prevailed. They haven't beaten the odds.   They've just beaten the self-doubts and faced their fears. TOP

Dawn's Story
Fired to Freelance

People have different reactions to the news they are suddenly unemployed.   For some, the first feeling is relief.  Dawn, a radio salesperson in a major market had been with the station for over a year when she finally got fired.

"It was the happiest day of my life!" she explains.  "I had wanted to quit for four months, but I couldn't find another company I wanted to work for in the city and I was ready for a change of location.  The problem was, I didn't have any savings and I couldn't afford to just quit with no income.  My boss was a psychological nightmare in high heels and her husband was the station manager.  I had no recourse but to get fired so I'd be eligible for unemployment while I looked to relocate. 

For four months she tried to get me to quit, telling me daily what horrible person I was and how no one liked me. Then she started taking accounts away from me and forcing me into a negative income.  I had watched her do this to six other people before me.   She always had to have a project.  Finally, I wrote some derogatory remarks about her in my account notes of another account she was taking away.  Then she fired me.  Eighteen months later I found out the entire sales staff walked into her office and forced her to quit.  I couldn't help but smile when I heard the news." TOP

John's Story
Fired: Homeless to Ph.D.

For others, unemployment can be devastating.  John worked in an Adult Foster Home, taking care of elderly men with Alzheimer's, while he worked on his degree.  He was paid a small salary and room and board.

"Nightmare," he states. "Is the only way to describe this situation.  It was during finals week and I had just had surgery the week before on my appendix.  I knew the owner's son had a drug problem with synthetic amphetamines.  I believe the street term is Crank, but I chose to ignore it.  I needed the roof and the money.  The people we took care of were on welfare so the state conducted regular inspections.  On one inspection, they found the owner's son's pharmacy.  We shared a bedroom.  I was blamed for the drugs and immediately dismissed when I returned back from classes.  Had the son been blamed, the home would have lost its license.
 

That night my girlfriend of six months dumped me too.

I found myself without a home, money or my belongings and lived in my car for the next three weeks while I used the University's facilities to shower.  I was so distraught and stressed, I actually failed the final in my area of expertise.  My mind went completely blank and I couldn't answer a single question. I just stared at the page. Years later, I did turn the owners in to the state welfare department, but I'm the only person I know who was homeless for three weeks and that experience has profoundly effected me to this day." TOP

Jim's Story
From Layoff to CEO

In some ways, these stories are extremes.  In others, they are quite ordinary.  Losing a job is a very personal experience and the effect it takes on each financially and psychologically can range from non-existent to a person's worst nightmare. It can also be the catalyst of major, positive change.

Jim worked for a major Public Relations Agency when the economy suddenly turned south. He was one of fifteen laid off to cut expenses.

"I had only been out of college for three years when it happened," he recalls.  "That young, it never occurred to me I may be laid off.  Now I know that when the economy becomes sluggish, it's generally the marketing and public relations budgets that get cut.  Had I known that, I may have seen it coming.  But I didn't.  TOP

Jim lived on his credit cards and savings for the first two months getting his agency off the ground and moved in with his business partner and quit smoking to save expenses.  It took two months to get their first client.  Seven years later, he has since bought out his partner and is now the CEO of a thriving specialty agency which he sold in 2002.

Future Tripping

So why the stories?  If you've been laid off, fired, quit under duress or suddenly find yourself without income, no doubt you are beginning to play the "What if" game.  What if I lose my car?  What if I can't feed my family?  What if we lose our home?  What if...TOP

This game can cause extreme anxiety and suck all of your initiative out and leave you without a will to go on.  It's called future tripping, worrying about what might happen instead of attending to what is real.  

John lost his home and everything he had the day he was fired.  Yet he survived and ultimately prevailed. He discovered through his misfortune a need in the community and made it his life's work. 

"I look back now on being homeless," John states.  "And it still effects me. It seems worse thinking back on it than I remember when I was in it.  At the time, I couldn't afford to feel what was happening.  My survival instincts took over and I did what was necessary."

Dawn had to sell her prized possessions but was able to replace most within a year's time and found herself making three times as much money as before.  TOP

"Selling my computer was the hardest thing I ever did," Dawn admits.  "I love to write and I used my computer for my job and for freelance.  Back in 1995, most companies didn't give salespeople computers.   You had to buy your own.  A year later I paid cash for a brand new top of the line laptop that I still use today.  As far as the garage experience? It makes great copy if I ever become famous!"

Jim took a chance and turned a negative situation into a major accomplishment in his life.  All three attribute their ability to turn everything around to positive thinking, focusing on the moment and doing what has to be done.

On the next page we'll give you some practical exercises that will prevent you from wallowing in doubts and tripping on the future and how to maintain your self-esteem once you lose your job.

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