Stage Three
Recreational Intimacy

Covering Shared Interests, Sports & Hobbies

any of your friends or close clients will reach this level. The people you spend time with, go to games with, to the movies, shopping or share common interests constitute recreational intimacy. For couples, both partners will have several common interests, while reserving others for themselves. But what happens if she is into extreme sports and he prefers to paint and read?

Having both common and separate activities is crucial to success.  Even married couples need activities that they do by themselves or with friends that do not include the spouse.  This helps each in the relationship to maintain his or her own unique identity and provides a mini vacation from couplehood, even if that vacation is only an hour or two.
 

PowerPoint
The Abbreviated Version of this Article Geared at Married Couples
 

Likewise, having shared activities is one of the most wonderful things about being a couple. It means you almost always have someone to share activities with. 

The objective of recreational intimacy is to find enough in common with the other person that you will enjoy your time together.  This can be current activities or things you'd like to try. 

You & your partner enjoy recreational intimacy if you both can answer Yes to all of these situations:

1. You both enjoy spending time together and it really doesn't matter what you do.

2. You can name your partner's favorite sports, movies and leisure activities.

3. You both have activities you enjoy together and those you reserve for yourself and your friends.

4. You do not get upset if your partner spends occasional time without you pursuing his/her own interests.

5. You enjoy exploring new experiences with your partner.

Below are key questions to ask yourself about your partner.  If you can answer all of these by knowing your partners responses, it means you've explored and established recreational intimacy.  These are also great questions for parties and gatherings.  People love to speak about what they are passionate about.  Activities associated with recreational intimacy are often the very activities that a person loves and lives to do.

Questions To Establish Recreational Intimacy

1. What is the most extreme activity you have ever participated in?

What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Tells you how much of a risk taker he or she is and whether you are compatible in this area of risk tolerance.
 

2. What is your fondest memory from childhood of your father?

What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Clues you into his/her relationship with his/her father and what activities hold a special sentiment for him/her.
 

3. Do you have any hobbies? What are they?

What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Helps you identify if he or she has interests outside of work or if work is his/her primary means of fulfillment.
 

4. What would you like to do that you haven’t done yet?
   What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Helps you understand if his/her dreams and goals are compatible with yours.
    

5. If you won the lottery tonight, what is the first fun activity you would do?
   
   What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Helps you understand if his/her dreams and goals are compatible with yours.
    

6. Who is your favorite athlete and why?
   
   What Your Partner’s Answer Means: Identifies the type of spectator sports he/she enjoys but also gives you an insight into Stage 4, Intellectual Intimacy and what characteristics he/she admires.

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